Hi,
I am a female in my early 20s. I have always been quiet, laid back, and reserved. As a young child, I didn't like to play, didn't have many friends (besides my cousins who lives in the same neighborhood) and overall didn't like to be around other people (besides my parents). I was a "slow" child. My parents say I only started to after 2, although I could draw amazingly well by 3. They say I didn't interact too much, but they attribute this to the fact that in my culture, adults don't usually talk to children that much, and being an only child, I didn't have other kids to interact with. I was made fun of a lot at school for being "weird" (clumsy, quiet, socially awkward, etc.) As a child, I used to ask my parents to tell my friends I was grounded, so that I didn't have to go out and play. I have always been very sensitive to loud noises and certain textures (silky textures since I was a child, tissue and denim more recently). I have always been able to look people in the eyes, but never truly liked it (as a child, I used to go cross-eyed when I looked someone in the eye. Now that does not happen anymore, and my eyes only water a little). I've also been sensitive to colors (red as a child, purple now). When I was 14-15 years old, I started developing severe obsessive compulsive symptoms. At 17, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Until then I was never truly bothered by my "strangeness", because I never truly needed to get out of my comfort zone. Being a child/teenager, living with my parents, not having to work... If I didn't want to interact with people, I didn't have to. It was when I started college (at 17) that this became an issue. All of a sudden I had to interact with classmates, do presentations, projects in group... It was awful. I started developing a fear of people. From there, I started to become extremely paranoid. By the time I was 19, I had convictions that people were trying to hurt me. By 20, I was sure they were installing cameras in my house and planting microphones in my bag. I seeked psychiatric help, but all they did was diagnose me with Psychosis NOS, put me in an partial hospitalization, and give me anti-psychotics. The possibility of me being in a prodromal stage of schizophrenia has been discussed. With that being said, I recently saw a counselor and told her my entire story, and to her, the Schizophrenia possibility was less likely, and she said that Autism may be a possibility. I am utterly confused. Professionals keep throwing disorder names at me, but I never get a definite answer. I just want to know: What do I have?