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What Causes Depression After A Breakup?

Posted on Tue, 21 Apr 2015

Question: Hi

I feel weird saying this but 6 months ago i met a girl and we have been very happy together, she shows me love and care which i never had in previous relationships and because of this i feel very close to her. I have trusted her and opened up with my biggest secrets and i feel if something was to go wrong between us i would break down. Is it normal to feel so close to someone yet not been together for that long?

Thanks

Answered by Dr. Rakesh Madhyastha (3 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Normal feeling

Detailed Answer:
Hello

Thanks for the query

Breaking down and feeling lonely after a good relationship ends is a normal feeling. 6 months is a long enough time to grow close to each other. Make sure there is trust between the both of you and it is important that you both are in the same level of relationship.

I wish you both all the very best

I hope I was of help

Regards

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar

Follow up: Dr. Rakesh Madhyastha (7 hours later)

thanks for the reply.

yes i trust her and she does trust me she says, i am concerned how she compares herself to my ex's even though they were bad experiences and i never speak to them anymore.for example my one ex was nearly 8 years together so my girlfriend says how i must have feelings for her still , even though this ex caused me to have depression and caused me to do things i am ashamed of admitting. Is it normal for her to compare like this ? i used to compare when we first started going out but i feel to still bring ex's up now is just causing unnecessary trouble.

Thanks

Answered by Dr. Rakesh Madhyastha (15 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Follow up

Detailed Answer:
Hello

Thanks for getting back

It is normal to be compared to the exs. I suggest you to do the following

1. Never bring up exs or compare even when angry or during fights
2. Discard everything that you have of your exs
3. Dont stay in contact with the exs.
4. Both of you make a pact never to discuss exs or even ask questions regarding it
5. Make a strong statement that you love her and that you have nothing to do with the ex anymore.
6. Please treat your girlfriend as a unique human being and never compare

Regards

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D

Follow up: Dr. Rakesh Madhyastha (6 hours later)

Hi

This is the thing I never speak to my ex's

I never compare her to them it's always her bringing them up i tell her everyday how lucky I am to have her and how much she means to me and we have agreed to not bring them up but she still does?

Thanks

Answered by Dr. Rakesh Madhyastha (7 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Follow up

Detailed Answer:
Hello

Thanks for getting back

You are doing the right thing. Continue to make her feel how important she is in your life, once she is convinced she will forget about your exs. More importantly relax and focus on your other activities too.

Regards

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vaishalee Punj