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How to cope with the loss of a close relative? Miserable, crying.

Jun 2013
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Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2219 Questions

My Nana passed away 12 weeks ago and I looked after her at home. Nana had a very bad week the week before she died she was in a lot of pain until nurses etc got involved and controlled her pain.

My Nana the day before she died was literally unconscious. I was lay on her bed next to her hugging her and Nana managed to open her eyes and say Thank You. I said to Nana you have nothing to thank me for. I am doing this because I love you, after that Nana shut her eyes. I was talking to Nana about anything and everything from childhood to present and my wedding last year, just to comfort her so she would know I was there and never left her.

I was with Nana 24/7. Even before Nana took really poorly I went to her house nearly every day probably 5 days out of 7.

On the day before Nana died she had tears rolling down her cheeks even though her eyes were closed. This is the image I h ave had for 12 weeks. I was wiping her tears away. How do you cope with losing someone so close.

I have lost all my other grandparents and mum says I was like this with them but I was younger so I don't really realise.

Nana passed away on the 19th May 2013 and to be quite truthful I don't want to be here. I am so miserable and crying all the time even though I have great support from my Husband and Family.

Why am I feeling so bad?

I also have added problems as I want a baby but this is just not happening for me.
Posted Sat, 24 Aug 2013 in Eating Disorders
Answered by Dr. Sushil Kumar Sompur 1 hour later
Hi there ~

I understand your concerns. While it may not be out of place to feel the way you are, given you circumstances, bereavement can be a difficult time for anybody and you might need to talk with someone about your feelings. I am glad you chose this forum. I am thinking that the added stress here is that you were really close to you Nana in many ways and that you are having added problems which is contributing to your emotional pain. I believe that you are having problems with getting to the point of acceptance.

[You may be in one of the other 4 stages of Loss and Grief - Kubler XXXXXXX described them in 5 stages - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression. To learn more├╝bler-Ross_model ]

If you have concurrent asthma, depression, panic attacks/anxiety as well as eating disorders, I believe you need to make sure none of your other well-controlled issues are exacerbated with you current stressors. If you are doing well please continue with the same therapy regimen - medications etc, however if you feel like you are not able to cope with the current stressors, it may be wise to consult your psychiatrist / psychotherapist to get to know what can be done in your situation to help you better.

I hope this helps. Take care of your self and have a lovely day!

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