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Hi Doctor I Have Not Able To Give My Best

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Posted on Wed, 14 Nov 2018
Question: Hi doctor I have not able to give my best at my job lately. I am working on a project where a female lead's behaviour has got me into depression. I report directly to her in my team. I am trying to understand why this is happening to me. The problem is that her brhaviour changes towards me when I point out her mistakes or correct her words. Her behaviour changes drastically when I do so. If I stay numb and nod at her every statement, this problem goes away. But it comes back when I prove myself right in an argument with her. This usually happens when there are a lot of people in the meeting we are arguing each other with. If I try to avoid arguing and fighting for whats right, I come out as dumb team mate for everyone else in the team. I have lost my respect in the team by staying dumd lately. This has started to affect my health and there is not a day when I dont think about it. While I have tried speaking to her about this issue indirectly, her behavior remains unchanged. I also spoke with my other lead on the project and he thinks I am overreacting. I think I am thinking too much about this lately and need some immediate help on next steps. I have already requested for transfer to a different team but thats not going to happen sooner. Could you please help guide me on steps to make sure I dont stay depressed. Thanks XXXXXXX
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Answered by Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (8 hours later)
Brief Answer:
You should keep a balance between personal and work life.

Detailed Answer:
Hello thanks for using ask a doctor service

Well pressure on workplace is the reason of your symptoms. A lot of individuals face such issues and this occurs because of adjustment problems.

If you are pointing out her mistakes she doesn't behave properly to you. Her behaviour is justified as normal human behaviour. If we point out any mistake of others others are expected to loose cool. But if this is affecting you then that is bad. This could complicate to depression.

One option in this case is to reduce pointing out her mistakes. Try to explain to her that this is what you think is right and you might be wrong. This will reduce her aggression towards her. Avoid pointing her mistake directly and to some extent her aggression will reduce.

Other option is to keep a balance between your personal life and work life. When you leave the office, leave the problems of office too. In home you should focus on yourself and your personal life too. This will also help you in coming out of depression.

You are waiting for transfer and this will also help you.

I hope this helps, please don't hesitate to ask again for more doubts.

Take care
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Remy Koshy
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Answered by
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Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2007

Answered : 5193 Questions

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Hi Doctor I Have Not Able To Give My Best

Brief Answer: You should keep a balance between personal and work life. Detailed Answer: Hello thanks for using ask a doctor service Well pressure on workplace is the reason of your symptoms. A lot of individuals face such issues and this occurs because of adjustment problems. If you are pointing out her mistakes she doesn't behave properly to you. Her behaviour is justified as normal human behaviour. If we point out any mistake of others others are expected to loose cool. But if this is affecting you then that is bad. This could complicate to depression. One option in this case is to reduce pointing out her mistakes. Try to explain to her that this is what you think is right and you might be wrong. This will reduce her aggression towards her. Avoid pointing her mistake directly and to some extent her aggression will reduce. Other option is to keep a balance between your personal life and work life. When you leave the office, leave the problems of office too. In home you should focus on yourself and your personal life too. This will also help you in coming out of depression. You are waiting for transfer and this will also help you. I hope this helps, please don't hesitate to ask again for more doubts. Take care