Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. Anxiety is a disorder and not a disease. You must understand that disease needs medicinal intervention and disorders not. Anxiety is subjective. Anxiety is apprehension about a future event which we apprehend as embarrassing or fearful and fear the incident today itself, where as there no surety that such thing may happen in the future. We all know that it is foolishness (don t misunderstand me). You are doing that foolishness again and again for 24 years. Please understand. Becoming aware of the foolishness is the first step of cure. Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques which should help you in short term. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.