Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. Bereavement of the loved ones do take the toll. I offer my sincere condolences. But life must go on. What is heartening to me is the fact that you are doing well for the last fifteen years!!. I am amazed. And you say that you are severely depressed and need help. Who was living all these years, even though with problems? Who was solving these problems? Who was doing job and home chorus? You must learn to gain confidence from your experience itself. You have many. Take my sincere motivation. You shall do well and forget and overcome the current depressive position. I am sure. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe the needed psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.