i have been taking large amounts of pain meds. for13 years it has come to the point to were any time i go to any doctor i get treated like an addict,so i ve been looking for alternatives lke subutex and suboxen .i dont know what to do even at my pain management its like being on probation since my reg. doctor retired my back and body pain is real and without some relief i am always thinking of ending it all im scared ill have a heart attack when i go into withdrawals .bcause lately my meds were cut in have and some dropped,i dont know what to do.i do have a spiritual battle about having to take them.