Welcome and thanks for posting your query to HCM.
infection is one of the infection which remains for long or rather we say indefinite period of time. In your query you have not mentioned the type of herpes infection -as there are two types of herpes- Type 1 and 2. Also you have not mentioned how many times in a year you have had active infection (presence of vesicles on penis or mouth) in last few years. Type 1 is more common on facial mucosa while 2 on genital mucosa. But both can be acquired through oro-genital sucking or licking if one of the partner is infected.
As you have said, you have used protected sex for last 10 years, so it is very well advised to follow this good practice meaning not to go for sucking and licking each other's private parts to reduce the chances of spread.
For the treatment part, as already said in the beginning, it remains for long period of time. This does not means that there isn't any treatment for this. There are antiviral
drugs with good efficacy but are to be taken for long period of time as suppressive therapy. You can talk to your doctor regarding the therapy.
Last point of suggestion is herpes is very mild form of infection and will not be going to cause any sort of complication in rest of your life. So live a productive and healthy life.
With best health wishes,
Dr Sanjay K Kanodia
MD ( Dermatology and STD/ Venereology)