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Having negative thoughts. How to come out from this?

Hi, I don t know whats wrong with me, I have not been diagnosed with any illness but I have not visited the doctors since I have been experiencing these horrible thoughts. I get visions of hurting innocent people, if I am having a conversation with someone I ll picture them sat there with no head and blood everywhere, when I am at home, I hide knifes as I get tempted to use them, either on me or another person. I m the calmest person ever and would never harm a hair on somebodys head, but once somebody annoys me, I shake with anger, my blood boils and I just want to deal with it in my own hands. I love my family, friends and boyfriend to pieces, I would never do anything to harm them, ever. I just hate these thoughts, I ALWAYS argue with myself, this may sound so silly but its like one part of my brain/mind is evil and the other part is good and innocent. I also get the fear people are trying to poison me when they give me food or put bugs/spiders in my food, I usually eat the meat off the bread just incase there is a spider or something on the bread. I can sometimes tell what others think of me, I sometimes hit my head when my bad thoughts come because I m scared of a bad thing happening to a close person I love (if im having the thoughts about them). I get so irritated and angry, I can make faces out of near enough any shape, I talk to myself all the time and argue with myself A LOT. My mind doesnt agree with anything nice I say about somebody. I just want to feel normal and like everybody else. I avoid social situations as I m a quite shy person and it is having a big impact on my life, to the point where I can t join a proper lesson in my School i sit on my own in a room with a teacher because I get paranoid that others are whispering and laughing about me, or giving me dirty looks, I get visions of standing up and punching them. I m a very angry person but also very calm. My paranoia is really bad, I always think people are looking at me and thinking bad things about me, I sometimes think I can read their mind. Please help me?
Asked On : Sun, 24 Feb 2013
Answers:  1 Views:  44
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Psychiatrist 's  Response
Dec 2014
Hello tasherdani
Welcome to HCM

The symptoms you have described like doubt, temptation of hurting people, negative thoughts, thoughts of spiders in foodetv. Are part of your illness. You also know that these are your own thoughts but you cant control them. They are in yuppie mind most of the times. As per my opinion most likely you are having clinical picture of OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder. In OCD individual is compelled to think which he wants to avoid, these thoughts produce anxiety and to prevent anxiety individual tend to do some thing also called compulsion.
So as per my opinion kindly visit a psychiatrist and take opinion. Treatment is available and both medicinal and psychological treatment is successful.
Hope I cleared your doubt.
Take care
Answered: Thu, 28 Feb 2013
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