noted your problem and I can understand that the misery is more than the actual pain.
please let us know who operated your rectocoele and enterocoele - was it a gynaecologist or a colorectal surgeon?
A rectocoele is a pouch formed in the wall of the rectum
and this is where stools get lodged thereby causing constipation
. Try using your thumb inserted in the vagina (please wear a glove and use a lubricant jelly) and press it down while passing stools. This will indent the rectocoele and empty it without you having to strain.
a surgery called as STARR (stapled trans-anal resection rectopexy) should cure your problem and has to be done by a colorectal surgeon-proctologist
your pain during sex is justifiable due to scar tissue formed in and around the vaginal wall due to previous mesh surgeries and the scar tissue does not have elasticity thereby causes pain when a stretch force is applied. Please use good amount of lubricants during the act. A lignocaine 2% jelly into the vagina just before sex would numb the area and you should not get pain for atleast an hour or so.