Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.
It is likely that the multiple negative experiences with sex has lead on to you have this intense anxiety
or phobia regarding future sexual relationships. Since this anxiety is causing you a severe amount of distress and suffering, I suggest that you seek professional help.
There are effective treatment options - in the form of medication or counselling
which will help you overcome your problems. So, I would advise you consult a psychiatrist
for a detailed psychological assessment and further treatment.
Wish you all the best.
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar