Hello. Welcome to hcm
I understand your concern. Masturbation
is safe way and in no way harmful to us unless it is done repeatedly but studies have been inconsistent. It is hard to control ones urges. If you feel sad by doing it,the best way to manage is by counting the number of times you do it and slowly decreasing as the days go by. It cannot be managed in a day or two.
Also, there is no need to cry for this. Tell yourself that it is normal and you will control this urge slowly but surely.
All the best