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What causes lack of sexual urge?

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Practicing since : 1983
Answered : 1486 Questions
I have been married for a year and 3 months now. I have had no physical relationship with my wife, I believe, the reason is a bit physical and a bit psychological. I was always apprehensive of my sexual performance from before marriage and I guess that is one fear that I have carried forward since. That and my belief that I am less endowed to perform well, I do not have any sexual urge now, I am only interested in my career and this is causing disturbance in my marriage. I do not want a child but my wife does. So what should I do, should I consult a sexologist or a psychologist? In either case if you can suggest something from your side or if you advise me to see either of the above specialists, please recommend a couple of them in Hyderabad whom I can see and who are reliable.
Posted Sun, 2 Mar 2014 in Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Saatiish Jhuntrraa 46 minutes later
Brief Answer: Please answer a few queries in follow up Detailed Answer: Hello Thanks for choosing WWW.WWWW.WW Please answer the following questions in follow up query 1- Are you attracted toward females in general and your wife in particular? 2- Do you get penile erection at any time by any means? 3- Do you want to have a normal sex life or just want to fulfill your wife's demand of a baby? 4- Are you a virgin till now? 5- Do you masturbate? For your help, a trained sexologist is the right professional. If you wish, I can help you as well . Help is available on line as well from many good sexologists but make sure he is good. I don't know somebody in Hyderabad to refer you. DR SAATIISH JHUNTRRAA
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: What causes lack of sexual urge? 2 hours later
Hello Doctor, Thank you for your prompt response. Below are the replies to your questions. 1) I am attracted to all females physically except my wife. I love my wife a lot but do not feel anything sexual when it comes to her. 2) I do have erection when I think of other women or if I see an attractive woman. 3) I do want to have a normal sex life. 4) Yes, I am a virgin 5) I do masturbate, at least once a day.
Answered by Dr. Saatiish Jhuntrraa 5 hours later
Brief Answer: Please follow the steps as below Detailed Answer: Hello I think your problem is more of psychological , probably fear of not performing adequately. This produced anxiety LEADING TO erection problem ,again causing anxiety. This has become a vicious circle. I suggest the following steps- 1- Before you start sex, take some anxiolytic like alprazolam 0.5 mg and sildenafil 50 mg 30 minutes before starting sex. 2- take a lubricant like KY jelly and put a finger in your wife's vagina , move in and out , then make2 fingers and repeat for 8-10 times 3- It is better if both of you take a bath before sex 4- Don't focus on the penis but focus on the pleasure. When you are ready, place your penis near the vagina in missionary position and slowly move forward. i think these should help you out. DR SAATIISH JHUNTRRAA
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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