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What Causes Lack Of Sexual Urge?
Question: I have been married for a year and 3 months now. I have had no physical relationship with my wife, I believe, the reason is a bit physical and a bit psychological. I was always apprehensive of my sexual performance from before marriage and I guess that is one fear that I have carried forward since. That and my belief that I am less endowed to perform well, I do not have any sexual urge now, I am only interested in my career and this is causing disturbance in my marriage. I do not want a child but my wife does. So what should I do, should I consult a sexologist or a psychologist? In either case if you can suggest something from your side or if you advise me to see either of the above specialists, please recommend a couple of them in Hyderabad whom I can see and who are reliable.
Brief Answer:
Please answer a few queries in follow up
Detailed Answer:
Hello
Thanks for choosing WWW.WWWW.WW Please answer the following questions in follow up query
1- Are you attracted toward females in general and your wife in particular?
2- Do you get penile erection at any time by any means?
3- Do you want to have a normal sex life or just want to fulfill your wife's demand of a baby?
4- Are you a virgin till now?
5- Do you masturbate?
For your help, a trained sexologist is the right professional. If you wish, I can help you as well . Help is available on line as well from many good sexologists but make
sure he is good. I don't know somebody in Hyderabad to refer you.
DR SAATIISH JHUNTRRAA
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Shanthi.E
Hello Doctor,
Thank you for your prompt response.
Below are the replies to your questions.
1) I am attracted to all females physically except my wife. I love my wife a lot but do not feel anything sexual when it comes to her.
2) I do have erection when I think of other women or if I see an attractive woman.
3) I do want to have a normal sex life.
4) Yes, I am a virgin
5) I do masturbate, at least once a day.
Brief Answer:
Please follow the steps as below
Detailed Answer:
Hello
I think your problem is more of psychological , probably fear of not performing adequately. This produced anxiety LEADING TO erection problem ,again causing anxiety. This has become a vicious circle. I suggest the following steps-
1- Before you start sex, take some anxiolytic like alprazolam 0.5 mg and sildenafil 50 mg 30 minutes before starting sex.
2- take a lubricant like KY jelly and put a finger in your wife's vagina , move in and out , then make2 fingers and repeat for 8-10 times
3- It is better if both of you take a bath before sex
4- Don't focus on the penis but focus on the pleasure.
When you are ready, place your penis near the vagina in missionary position and slowly move forward.
i think these should help you out.
DR SAATIISH JHUNTRRAA
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Vaishalee Punj
Answered by
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