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Treatment for grief and depression?

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General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2001
Answered : 11917 Questions
Hi its regarding grief and depression can you help ??
Posted Wed, 13 Mar 2013 in Depression
Answered by Dr. Michelle Gibson James 1 hour later
Hi, thanks for using healthcare magic

Grief can occur as a result of losing someone or if someone we are close to is very ill.
In medicine we say that there are different stages of grief. Though these stages are quoted to be in a certain order, people experience the stages differently and may go from one to another and then back.They may spend a varied amount of time in the different stages.In some cases a person may spend days or weeks in one stage.
The different stages are : denial that the illness or death has occurred, this is normally the first stage and it is to protect yourself from pain
The second stage is pain- the feeling of almost unbearable pain
Anger- this can be followed by a feeling of intense anger. Why me? Why did this happen to me? what did the person do to deserve this? what did I do to deserve this?
Bargaining- we start making bargains with ourselves and in those who are spiritual, with God
Depression- persons may now experience a depressed feeling, an intense feeling of loss and sadness
Eventually there should be -Acceptance of the loss

If the feeling of depression is very intense, the person may be classified as having Adjustment disorder.
This is a stress related, short term non psychotic illness.In this condition, a person feels disproportionately overwhelmed by a stressful event in their life. It normally starts within 3 mths of the stressor and stops by 6 mts. It may be associated with a disproportionate amount of sadness, crying and withdrawal from everyone.
There are certain criteria to diagnose the disorder , these are used by doctors when the person presents.

It is mainly treated with counselling.

Losing someone close to you is naturally associated with sadness, but is the sadness is overwhelming, affecting all areas of life, resulting in a withdrawal from other persons, then it is best to seek counselling.

I hope this helps, feel free to ask any other questions
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Treatment for grief and depression? 6 minutes later
Thank you for your reply.

His mother died 10 months ago we broke up 2 months ago. He started becoming a bit withdrawn in September when he seems it really started to hit home that his mother was dead. He started to push me away and did not not want to go out as he seemed to feel guilty if he was enjoying himself. He also has been having issues sleeping is very agitated and needs to get comfortable before he can sleep.

He also told me it was harder to go out with me for a drink ect as he would only start talking about his mother. He is under alot of stress with a family farm and his job and works an awful lot he says he loves me but cant give me what I want and that its unfair that I sacrifice everything. Does this sound like grief ? should I hang in there ?
Answered by Dr. Michelle Gibson James 6 hours later
Hi, sorry about the late reply

It does sound like grief but for him to still be withdrawn,have sleep difficulties 10 mths after his mother's death implies that the process has been slightly distorted.
Normally adjustment disorder is diagnosed within a 6 mth period but after 10 mths , a doctor may suggest that he may have a mood disorder such as a major depressive episode.

He may not be able , in his present state of mind, to be the partner that you want but if you are able to stay as a friend for a while it may help because he will need family and friend support. As he works through his present emotions he will be more capable of being a partner.

I think that it would be best that he visits his GP, there are certain criteria that need to be fulfilled to diagnose these conditions. He may need counselling and , in some cases, medication for a short time to lift his mood and improve his symptoms.

Please feel free to ask any other questions
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Treatment for grief and depression? 14 hours later
Thank you for your reply.

He did tell one night after a few drinks he taught he was depressed but would not discuss it the next day. We have been together 3.5 years and used get on brilliantly until his mother died , he idolized her. I doubt he will go to a doctor , he is very stubborn.

He has loads of post some of which is important in or apartment which he is avoiding collecting and will ignore it when I tell him it is there and wont discuss rent or XXXXXXX issues its like he cant deal with it would that all be part of the process.
Answered by Dr. Michelle Gibson James 13 hours later
Hi, if he is not likely to see a doctor on his own then it it is possible that an intervention staged by his family and friend may be helpful .
He needs to become aware of the changes he has undergone if he is to get any better.
You canals consider speaking to his GPS for some advice on how to proceed
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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