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Suggest Ways To Deal With Aggressive Behavior In A Relationship

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Posted on Tue, 15 Dec 2015
Question: Hiii I want a help related to my relationship... where I some times think that the way I am behaving with my partner is not normal..We are in relationship from past 7 years and now we want to get married but his parents are not agreeing to it because I am very short tempered. Since that day his behaviour towards me is changing. He is not talking to me..and even if he is talking we are fighting on our past mis-conducts. I do not trust him I don't know why..but I use to check his Facebook accout, his XXXXXXX and if I find his chatting with any girl I use to blame her for all this. I am very upset, get irritated in every thing, do not participate in any thing happening around in friends and family, I have even tried to commit suicide but failed. I always use to say bad words to my boy friend but he says that the way I am behaving is normal. But I don't think so... I think I am getting mad..I have even tried for break up but I can't live without him. He is also not ready for a break up.. but everybody suggest me to leave him...because he says some thing and does some thing else and when I react to it he stops talking... and then my anger is at its peak.. and I starts behaving abnormally... I even called his mummy 2-3 times in anger... please tell me what is wrong with me and what should I do? Am I a abnormal girl friend who is torturing her boy friend.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Shubham Mehta (5 hours later)
Brief Answer:
anger control needed.

Detailed Answer:
Hello
Welcome to HCM.
Dear,
I can understand your concerns.

You are short-tempered, have tried suicide, keep an eye over his activities etc.

I feel that you have become over-possessive for him.
You a some sort of insecurity that he might betray you.

You both love each other. But you are forced (kind of) to break-up with each other. This further preciptating the anger in you.

There is nothing abnormal in this. It is just a human emotional reaction.

But yes, you should definitely to keep your anger under control. You both should have your space in the relationship. Otherwise this relationship will become a burden.
Do loose your temper. Do not him for otger's fault. You should trust him if you both love each other. Sit together and try to sort out things calmly.
Getting angry, spying, suicide attempt, such kind of things will generate mistrust among you.

Since, you anger is the reason why his parents are not agreeing for your relationship, you should control it.
Whenever you feel that you are getting angry, drink a glass of cold water or count from 10 to 1 backwards. Its always good to leave the place/situation at that time and rethink over it later calmly.
Anger fuels up more anger. You can express your anger in painting or writing down your feelings etc when alone.

You have been in relationship with him since last 7 years. Its a long time. Its not easy to break up after such a long relationship. Just a peaceful try to control anger will rejuvenate your relationship.

Hope this helps.
Feel free to ask further.
Thanks.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D
doctor
Answered by
Dr.
Dr. Shubham Mehta

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2008

Answered : 2145 Questions

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Suggest Ways To Deal With Aggressive Behavior In A Relationship

Brief Answer: anger control needed. Detailed Answer: Hello Welcome to HCM. Dear, I can understand your concerns. You are short-tempered, have tried suicide, keep an eye over his activities etc. I feel that you have become over-possessive for him. You a some sort of insecurity that he might betray you. You both love each other. But you are forced (kind of) to break-up with each other. This further preciptating the anger in you. There is nothing abnormal in this. It is just a human emotional reaction. But yes, you should definitely to keep your anger under control. You both should have your space in the relationship. Otherwise this relationship will become a burden. Do loose your temper. Do not him for otger's fault. You should trust him if you both love each other. Sit together and try to sort out things calmly. Getting angry, spying, suicide attempt, such kind of things will generate mistrust among you. Since, you anger is the reason why his parents are not agreeing for your relationship, you should control it. Whenever you feel that you are getting angry, drink a glass of cold water or count from 10 to 1 backwards. Its always good to leave the place/situation at that time and rethink over it later calmly. Anger fuels up more anger. You can express your anger in painting or writing down your feelings etc when alone. You have been in relationship with him since last 7 years. Its a long time. Its not easy to break up after such a long relationship. Just a peaceful try to control anger will rejuvenate your relationship. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask further. Thanks.