Brief Answer:
Menopausal symptom.

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

Thanks for trusting us with your health concern.

From the description you have given, I understand that your unhappiness with your marriage has developed lately, after you attained menopause. This can be considered quite normal, a menopausal symptom.

If you have had any marital discord earlier too, it can get aggravated at this stage. Here are a few suggestions I would like to give to help improve the situation.

1. Try to channelize your thoughts. You can put them on paper as they come. This will help you to observe the pattern of thoughts you are experiencing so you can get some clarity on what you need. You can write the pros and cons of your husband on a paper and compare.

Once you do this, you will automatically observe that you feel better as you have opened up your feelings and are able to sort them out better.

2. If your husband is caring and understanding, as it looks from the description you have given, try to explain your difficulties and tell him what you expect from him.

Plan small surprises and demand the same from your husband also. Take small trips and meet with friends often. This will help you to rejuvenate.

3. Try relaxation techniques, yoga, meditation, pranayama and relaxation music. They are very helpful both for the physical and mental health. Regular exercise is a must.

4. Use healthy food including fresh fruits, vegetables, mineral supplements. Avoid spicy foods and sweets.

5. Use soft cotton loose-fitting clothing, ventilate your surroundings well and make your work place and bed room comfortable. See that you get adequate sleep.

6. Please take counselling if you do not find any psychological improvement with all the above suggestions. You may then need anti-depressants. Your husband would also need counselling on behavioral change.

7. Hormone therapy may be tried for a short period of time if indicated.

Finally, please remember that this is also a transient phase like many others in life and everything will get well soon.

Hope your query has been clarified. Please feel free to contact for further information. I will be happy to help.

regards,
Shanti.V.

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Brief Answer:
Avoid sugar and get tested for hormone levels.

Detailed Answer:
Hello,

Thanks for writing back.

If you notice worsening of the hot flushes with sugar intake, please avoid it. Also you should get a regular general check up to look for hypertension, diabetes and other hormone imbalances.

Hot flushes not responding to simple measures can be treated with estrogen supplements. Please ask your health care provider about this possibility in your case.

Ageing is a natural process and if you would notice, your husband also must have aged in front of you. Yet, if you feel uncomfortable, please take a vacation for some time and also get counselling to recoup with your situation. After all, things cannot be left like that in a quandary for too long and you know that pretty well, I believe.

Get some time with kids and try to relax with them. Often, presence of children can work wonders.

Try to develop a passion of your own or if you already have one, please try to recover it. Join groups of women with similar problems, if that is going to help. Do not compare yourself with anyone; you are unique in this world.

Finally, prayer also helps a lot to ease the situation. Peace of the mind is required at this stage and you may try to get it in whichever way you may.

Hope I have answered your queries. Please feel free to contact if you need any more help. I will be glad to do so.

regards,
Shanti.V.

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