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Mentally not fine, have psychological issues. Misbehaves with everyone, anger issue. Suggest?

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Psychiatrist
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My sister in law mentally not fine. She runs away from home. Anger issues. Mis behaves with her parents. No frds. No cousin calls her even her younger brother dont talk to her. Fighting with my brother on small issues. Even last month was so stressful for me too. I posted one question yesterday regarding hair loss. Doc said stress cause hair fall. So plz tell what to do?? She acts like physco. She just ran away outside without any issue. Its mental harassment for my brother. If u need more detail about her just let me know
Posted Thu, 17 Oct 2013 in Mental Health
 
 
Answered by Dr. Anjana Rao Kavoor 29 minutes later
Brief Answer:
More details are required.

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

Thanks for writing to us,

I would like some more details about your sister in law. For how long has she been having these problems? When does she run away from home? Is it when she has a fight or an argument or without any apparent reason? Does she admit to having made a mistake after she returns home? Where does she go? Does she return home by herself? Does she recall all that she does when she is outside? How has her mood been lately? Are there any other symptoms or any inappropriate or odd behavior you noticed in her? How long has it been since their marriage? Has there been any significant events in her life of late or during the onset of the problem? How is her sleep and appetite? What is your brother's opinion about this issue? Has she had any such problems in the past or is it the first time?

If there is anything else that you think may have medical relevance please add that too.

Regarding hair loss, yes stress can cause hair loss. Has the stress been related to your sister in law or more than that?

Dr A Rao Kavoor
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
 
Follow-up: Mentally not fine, have psychological issues. Misbehaves with everyone, anger issue. Suggest? 57 minutes later
1) For how long has she been having these problems-From the next day of marriage. My brother never told this before. He recently told us everything.
2) When does she run away from home- Many times. My brother was in china for 1yr. She used to rum away there too.
3) Is it when she has a fight or an argument or without any apparent reason- She can fight on any reason. Like y u keep sandal here. Y u keep cooler on(He used to keep that on when she used to cook food in kitchen). I want separate bank locker(She said this on next day of marriage). Y i watch tv in their room. Dont buy flat with ur father or brother.
4) Does she admit to having made a mistake after she returns home? She is so egoistic. She came back home after 20 days(Maternal grand mother home). Even her family admitted that she did mistake but she never accept.
5) Where does she go- Her XXXXXXX home or sometimes in the park.
6) Does she return home by herself? Ya she returns back if she see my brother is running after her.
7) Does she recall all that she does when she is outside- She always give wrong information to her parents and they also give her wrong suggestions specially her mom.
8)How has her mood been lately- Angry.
9) Are there any other symptoms or any inappropriate or odd behavior you noticed in her- She misbehaves with her mother even with her grand mother. She always shouts at them. Me, my bro and my mom told her not to misbehave with her old grand mother, but she never changed her attitude.
10) How long has it been since their marriage- She started fighting from the first day but situation became worst when my parents came gurgaon and we planned to book 3BHK apartment.
11) Has there been any significant events in her life of late or during the onset of the problem- No 12) How is her sleep and appetite- From last 2 week its 12am but before that she used to surf net, play games on mobile whole night. She eats a lot. Gained 10kg after marriage.
13) What is your brother's opinion about this issue- He is the most sensible male in our family. He never shouts or show anger on any body. He thought these small fights happen in every marriage so he was taking things easy. But when my parents came here for 2 weeks she was happy. But when she told her mom that we r planning to buy 3BHK. Her mom misguided her. Her mom threatened my bro how can he purchase apartment with me and my father. My father was spending all the money not me or my bro. After few days she made stories that my parents r asking for dowry. My family was really scared. My mom cried when she said this becoz she has nice image in society. After discussion she realized that it was her mistake. She said sorry and was ok. But next day her mom again brain washed her and after 10days she ran away from home becoz my brother asked me how was my interview at XXXXXXX Actually main entry is from my room only. So she fight with my brother whole night and ran away to her granny home in the morning. So my brother finally gave up and said i cant live with her and we were going to divorce her. But somebody told her father. He came here to sort out everything and my bro gave her one more chance. She never do any house hold work. Never prepare lunch, dinner, breakfast. But now she prepares sometime. Has she had any such problems in the past or is it the first time- I want to share something may be it wil help u. Me and my brother noticed one thing. She always pry to gain her parents attention. So if her parents give her wrong advice she wil say they r right. Her brother dont talk her much. Last month he was going pune via delhi, so she asked her mom when is he leaving. He told his mom not to tell her becoz i dont wanna see her face. If u take my family we always there for each other. I had typhoid in april my parents came next day via plane. Even nurse told me in front of her that my parents r very caring. She told me once that her mom talks to her twice in a month and my mom calls her everyday. She always sends r clothes, jewelry. She treated her like own daughter. I hope this information will help u. Even one collegue told her that her husband wil leave her during first yr of marriage. No cousin, frd calls u. We get 5 calls from frds or cousins. If u need anything else i wil provide u more information.
Follow-up: Mentally not fine, have psychological issues. Misbehaves with everyone, anger issue. Suggest? 19 minutes later
becoz of all this stress my bro developed high BP problem. 160/110 or 150/100. Doc advised him not to take any kind of mental stress. Still she dont change her behavior :(
 
 
Answered by Dr. Anjana Rao Kavoor 1 hour later
Brief Answer:
Marital and family discords that need attention.

Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for writing back with the details,

From the history you have provided, it does not seem like she has a mental illness. Only when there is an abrupt change in a person’s behavior for a particular duration of time it can be said that a person is suffering from a mental illness and NOT if the behavior is persistent which means if it has been present throughout their life. There can be a few personality traits (which are inherent in a person) in her which could be slightly deviant that is causing problems in maintaining her relationships, as you said she has a difficult relationship with her brother and friends. There also seems to be several marital and family discords and misunderstandings which need to be addressed. She seems unhappy in the marriage which may be motivating her to do some of the acts like leaving home repeatedly, picking up fights over trivial issues etc. To begin resolving your current problems, it would be advisable to first contact a marriage counselor or a psychologist who would administer marriage counseling or couples therapy. As you have mentioned that your brother has been calm and patient all this while, it seems like your brother will cooperate in case you suggest this to them. It may take some persuasion in case of your sister in law to convince her for it. Nevertheless, if she wants the marriage to continue she will agree eventually. The counselor will resolve issues and teach ways of handling relationships and shed insight into the situation as to where (or in whose behavior) the fault lies, and how they can be corrected and avoided in the future.

And you may not have understood well some of the questions I have asked.
For how long have they been married? (how many number of days/months/years?)

Any further queries are welcome.
I hope this helps,
Dr. A Rao Kavoor
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
 
Follow-up: Mentally not fine, have psychological issues. Misbehaves with everyone, anger issue. Suggest? 37 minutes later
They got married o 14 april 2012n
 
 
Answered by Dr. Anjana Rao Kavoor 20 hours later
Brief Answer:
Likely to be few deviant personality traits.

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

Thanks for writing back with the details,

So it has been more than a year since their marriage and the problems have aggravated but you report that the difficult behavior existed from before the marriage, considering her strained relationship with her brother, friends and grandmother. Since there is no abrupt change in her behavior for a particular duration of time and instead has been persistent and pervasive, it is possible that she could be having few deviant personality traits (and very unlikely to be a mental illness) which are surfacing in the form of marital discord due to strained marital relationship. The only way of confirming this is to get her psychological evaluation done in person by a psychologist. There will be a few objective tests administered in the form of questionnaires etc. The further management will mainly consist of therapy and counseling like anger management and couples therapy etc.

I hope this helps,
Any further queries are welcome.
Dr. A Rao Kavoor
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
 
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