How do I improve my bonding with my husband?
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My widowed lover adored his wife no matter what she did. He always tells me his love for me depends on my love for him, and that it vanishes when we quarrel or I am hurt. We have lived together for over a year, and this has not changed. What is your opinion?
Posted Sat, 25 Jan 2014 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Anjana Rao Kavoor 3 hours later
Brief Answer: Please find detailed answer below Detailed Answer: Hi XXXX, Thanks for sending in your query. Your lover is seeking a relationship with you where he is being conditional and expects that both of you equally reciprocate and share the responsibilities. Having been with his wife for years, he may have shared a very close and happy bonding with her and does miss her at times. You cannot expect him to change in a year's time. If your lover is caring towards you, he will make efforts to know what you need from the relationship, and what you no longer require. He is trying to confess that a new balance would benefit in both directions. With clearer expectations on both sides, you may find out that you can give more than you thought and enjoy the process when you reach your goal. Transformation is the keyword here. Both of you must discuss areas where you would like to see the better part of each other and work towards it. True love needs to be more unconditional keeping in mind your self respect. You need to strike a balance between give and take from each other. I hope this helps. Do write back in case of doubts. Dr.A.Rao Kavoor