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Had Sex. Do Not Masturbate. Wife Feels Sex Painful. What Can Be Done?

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Posted on Mon, 30 Sep 2013
Question: I am 69 y/o =,have not had sex with my wife of 049 years for 20+ years. I do not masturbate (not my thing). My wife say sex is painful; she went to an obyn/gyn who gave her a Rx for male testosterone (out come unsuccessful). I am very frustrated. What can I do...???
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Prasad J (57 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
Reassess the condition....

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

If I were to be the treating doctor, I would reassess the condition. Inefficient sexual intercourse can be due to lack of love/co-operation amongst couples, low libido and an organic condition within her.

Testosterone supplement is an useful treatment to improve libido. If that hasn't helped, perhaps this approach needs to be changed.

In this circumstance, I would first consider searching for organic medical condition which may have been overlooked. At 49 year when your partner has attained menopause, vaginal dryness can make sex painful. Estrogen creams which are available over the counter can produce wonderful results. Besides that, a polyp, tight vaginal outlet and co-existing infection can make sexual intercourse unpleasurable. Each of these condition have different treatment options.

In the absence of organic causes, sexual life can be rekindled through few sessions with a competent sex therapist. You and your partner can be interviewed by this therapist to dig out the actual problem; accordingly a clear solution can be planned.

I understand this is frustrating and difficult times, but you were able to live for more than 20 years with her. Talk and discuss with her about what you feel. Try a new place; may be a second honey moon. If vaginal intercourse is hurting, try other alternatives with mutual consent; you may not be able achieve orgasm, but it might change the way your partner looks at you as a whole.

Hope this helps.

Regards
Note: Revert back with your gynae reports to get a clear medical analysis by our expert Gynecologic Oncologist. Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Answered by
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Dr. Dr. Prasad J

General & Family Physician

Practicing since :2005

Answered : 3708 Questions

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Had Sex. Do Not Masturbate. Wife Feels Sex Painful. What Can Be Done?

Brief Answer:
Reassess the condition....

Detailed Answer:
Hi,

If I were to be the treating doctor, I would reassess the condition. Inefficient sexual intercourse can be due to lack of love/co-operation amongst couples, low libido and an organic condition within her.

Testosterone supplement is an useful treatment to improve libido. If that hasn't helped, perhaps this approach needs to be changed.

In this circumstance, I would first consider searching for organic medical condition which may have been overlooked. At 49 year when your partner has attained menopause, vaginal dryness can make sex painful. Estrogen creams which are available over the counter can produce wonderful results. Besides that, a polyp, tight vaginal outlet and co-existing infection can make sexual intercourse unpleasurable. Each of these condition have different treatment options.

In the absence of organic causes, sexual life can be rekindled through few sessions with a competent sex therapist. You and your partner can be interviewed by this therapist to dig out the actual problem; accordingly a clear solution can be planned.

I understand this is frustrating and difficult times, but you were able to live for more than 20 years with her. Talk and discuss with her about what you feel. Try a new place; may be a second honey moon. If vaginal intercourse is hurting, try other alternatives with mutual consent; you may not be able achieve orgasm, but it might change the way your partner looks at you as a whole.

Hope this helps.

Regards