HealthCareMagic is now Ask A Doctor - 24x7 | https://www.askadoctor24x7.com

Why Would Sexual Activity Be Abruptly Stopped By A Partner Just Before Penetration?

Posted on Fri, 2 Feb 2024

Question: This handyman came to my house to do work. Overtime we became friends, but he was always sending me flattering and suggestive texts. He is married. On Valentine's Day he brought me flowers, candy and a card that states he has. Thought about me everyday since he met me and will think about me everyday from now on. I was slightly intoxicated and mad a pass at him. He did a lot of foreplay, but then right when he was going to enter he got up, said he had to go and left. Then he texted me for 7 days afterward saying he did not want to loose my friendship. What should I make of this? Seriously. He is 51 and I just turned 65

Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (1 hour later)

Brief Answer:
Could be due to various causes

Detailed Answer:
Dear Ma'am, I have gone through your question and I understand your concerns but it is possible that he did that because of the fact that he is married or maybe because that he suffers a sort of sexual or erectile dysfunction or may be he has medical restrictions that prevents him from intercourse.. I hope you find this helpful.. feel free to follow up further..

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng

Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (47 minutes later)

He had related to me in the past that he was sexually molested by his friend's mother when he was 14. He got married early and had one daughter then divorced. He re-married 13 years later because he was lonely. He said he did not fall in love with his 2nd wife. I became curious after our last interaction and looked him up on line. In 1995 when he was 27 he was arrested for attempting to rape a 57 year old woman he had known all his life. He apologized to his own family and her family at his sentencing and stated it happened because he was drunk. He will text things that are not appropriate, but in person when I told him I was beginning to have feelings for him, he would respond how he was going to repair my bathroom. The last text he sent said he felt lost without my friendship. I think this problem is not erectile disfuncyion

Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (14 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Psychological causes

Detailed Answer:
Dear Ma'am,hello again.. It seems that he is suffering from insecurities and he also seems that he is psychologically unstable.. The fact that he was molested then trying to attempt a rape himself are both sign that he has a a control issue.. since those who are subjected to molesters tend to have a feeling of losing control and being forced to sexual acts that they are not willing to do.. Afterwards they tend to gain this control either by rape or by other means such as manipulating other's feelings such as in your case.. he might also be suffering from fear of rejection as he has been through divorce and does not seem to be getting along his second wife .. I hope you find this helpful..

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Remy Koshy

Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (7 hours later)

Yes, that sounds like what is going on with him. Thank you for your help. He was a big help around the house, but if he is mentally unstable it is just as well that he is not coming back. Also during foreplay he lightly slapped my face, pulled my hair and yanked on my breast so hard it hurt. I was not into that kind of scenario either so another reason to be glad he is not coming back.. Thanks.

Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (9 hours later)

Brief Answer:
You're welcome

Detailed Answer:
Dear Ma'am, Hello again..

That would be a good choice to stay away from this person, stay safe..

Kind regards..

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Arnab Banerjee