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Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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Unable to have a proper intercourse. Any suggestion?

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Dr. Simmi Kumari

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2005

Answered : 88 Questions

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Posted on Mon, 7 Jan 2013 in Mental Health
Question: Hi i am feeling shy to ask this but unfortunatly i have to ask or els it ma affect me in future.

I am 28 years male whenever i do intercourse with my partner i cant come inside her, only if she or me mastubrate i will ejeluct or els i am not come at all. i thik this is serious problem my partner is satisfying me but i am unable to satisfy her, this ma create problem in our relationship.

So kindly advice me what needs to be done.
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Answered by Dr. Simmi Kumari 23 hours later
Hi XXXXXXX

To start with, there is nothing to be embarrassed or shy about the issue you are facing and people frequently face these kind of problems. I appreciate that you have come forth with it.

I can understand your worry but the more you will think about it, the more it will create problems in your sexual life.

I would like to emphasize that Sexual activity is all about learning. Your genitals have learned to respond in a manner which was good for you in the past , but now when you have a partner it is causing you a problem. So all you have to do now is to give yourself and your private parts time to adjust to this new way of sexual activity.

In the mean time you can use methods to satisfy your partner , like stimulation with hand or trying it for a longer time so that she can also have her pleasure. Once you will satisfy her you will be more relaxed and can achieve what you are expecting from yourself soon.

Sexual activity is very much dependent on your psychology, more you are stressed longer it will take you to come out and this may be the case for you as well . So my advice for you to be persistent in your effort and do not give up each time. Try it for a longer period and gradually you will see it will start happening sooner than before. Don't do the final step outside, just try as long as you can inside each time. Be comfortable discussing your matter with your partner that will further help you with your problem.

Meanwhile don't masturbate as long as you are not able to accomplish your goal as it may hamper your learning. Hope this advice, if followed correctly, will help you.

Please let me know in case you need further advice.
Take care.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Shanthi.E
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