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Suggest Ways To Deal With Disrespectful Behavior In Children

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Posted on Thu, 11 Aug 2016
Question: I have a step daughter who i adopted due to her mother abdandoning her at 9yrs old.. Shes 23 yrs old now, she got everything in life and i put her through college, she gradutes this dec as a teacher but it seems like she always tries to make feel bad. She excludes me from certain things, she talks bad about me to her friends ad every single boyfriend she has. She blocks me on Facebook. Im really exhausted with this and dont know how to respond anymore. I work full time and have 2 younger kids to care for. What should i do?
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Answered by Dr. Prof. Kunal Saha (2 hours later)
Brief Answer:
If you could evaluate her underlying thought things would have been clearer

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for asking on HealthcareMagic.

Although this is not directly a health related query, I would definitely try to help you out. It is apparent that your step daughter had a rough childhood. Although subsequently you tried to set things right for her, you needed to work on her acceptance. It is possible that there are things that you did with best of your intent but were dramatic for her and since she was almost adolescent, the growth of her body and mind were not at par, and she held you responsible for things that were not right. Probably she still does. My suggestion would be not to try to make her comply. Leave her on her own. Move on. In time she might understand. As of now, my suggestion would be to leave it upon her to realize, if she does; you need not try to take control over her life. And, you need not make your own life miserable by worrying about her.

Care for your younger kids such that they do not feel any lack of love. Love is neither pampering nor extreme authoritativeness.

Regards
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Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Answered by
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Dr. Prof. Kunal Saha

General & Family Physician

Practicing since :1954

Answered : 4467 Questions

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Suggest Ways To Deal With Disrespectful Behavior In Children

Brief Answer: If you could evaluate her underlying thought things would have been clearer Detailed Answer: Thanks for asking on HealthcareMagic. Although this is not directly a health related query, I would definitely try to help you out. It is apparent that your step daughter had a rough childhood. Although subsequently you tried to set things right for her, you needed to work on her acceptance. It is possible that there are things that you did with best of your intent but were dramatic for her and since she was almost adolescent, the growth of her body and mind were not at par, and she held you responsible for things that were not right. Probably she still does. My suggestion would be not to try to make her comply. Leave her on her own. Move on. In time she might understand. As of now, my suggestion would be to leave it upon her to realize, if she does; you need not try to take control over her life. And, you need not make your own life miserable by worrying about her. Care for your younger kids such that they do not feel any lack of love. Love is neither pampering nor extreme authoritativeness. Regards