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How to keep oneself positive, optimistic and happy?

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Posted on Tue, 15 Jul 2014
Question: Hi,
My wife is claiming for money with anger.
She wants money for clothing , for vacations etc
she puts a lot of tension on the subject.
I have already given her 500 € a few days ago
I have done my accounting yesterday ; expenses have grown.
I have just learned a big client ask me to do a new big deal. But it not signed yet.
What would you say to your wife to release the tension ?
Moreover, I do not understand what happens with her sexuality. There are always incertainty. It causes frustrations.
I do my best to protect myself but i Think she is in low energies.
What can I do to improve my status and keep positive, optimistic and happy ?
doctor
Answered by Dr. K. V. Anand (4 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Enjoy the life

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Welcome to HCM
We understand your concerns

I went through your description and I suggest you not to worry much. We should learn to keep our cool always. You may ask, how? How to keep cool among so many daily life problems and frustrating situations? I know your troubles. Even though physically away from you, I assure you that I am near your heart, understanding your feelings, being empathetic.

Spiritual gurus always teach these aspects. How to be cool. What on earth is yours? What ever you think you have, are they yours? Do you take anything with you? Do you take any memories with you? The answer to all these questions are NO. That means we are guests here and living here as a duty to the god. God desires and makes us do what he wants. We are mere puppets in his hands.

That is where the beauty of the life is. We are living in this world for the creator. He makes us do our Karma. We do. We are doing it for him. He gets his job done through us. By doing these jobs, we get satisfaction. Once you start feeling as if everything is yours, whatever you do is because of you and others around you and you are suffering, then you are wrongly perceiving.

The above is the best way of explaining the worldly life without having to loose self peace. If you put everything upon god and stay calm, you have answer to whatever happening around you.

Your wife is part of the play. She also acts as the creator makes her to act. Means she is also doing her Karma. Every other person is doing his Karma. So what is there to get angry, annoyed, frustrated? On Whom we should get angry, annoyed, frustrated?

If your wife is asking you money, give if you have money or say you do not have. Nothing to get frustrated or angry. If you get angry or frustrated here, situation never changes. She keeps asking for money (because her Karma is that)
and you repeatedly frustrated. The Karma God gave you is to be peaceful. Here with your narrow thinking, you loose your patience.

Forgive me if I became more spiritual. But this could be the best way to make any person understand his value in the earth. What ever may happen, future is uncertain, past is past. We are supposed to live TODAY doing the KARMA god entrusted us.

Keep yourself emotionally away from the worldly affairs. This does not mean you should not love. You can have all those positive emotions, but never let any emotions overwhelm you. No emotion should hijack your behavior.

To be optimistic and happy, you should know the above things. Once you know about these and think deeply, they, the realities shall enlighten you. Automatically you shall be positive and happy.

Do the meditations and breathing exercises regularly. Be a person who lives today, not in yesterday or tomorrow. Engage yourself in activities which keeps you happy. Include lot of activities with kids. When some kids play on the street, join them. Enjoy the life. You are just 47. You have lot of life in front of you. You cannot be like this, annoyed, pessimist, angry, frustrated and disappointed throughout all those years.

CHANGE.....for better. And .... ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE YOU....
God bless you.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vinay Bhardwaj
doctor
Answered by
Dr.
Dr. K. V. Anand

Psychologist

Practicing since :1993

Answered : 7322 Questions

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How to keep oneself positive, optimistic and happy?

Brief Answer: Enjoy the life Detailed Answer: Dear XXXXXXX Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your description and I suggest you not to worry much. We should learn to keep our cool always. You may ask, how? How to keep cool among so many daily life problems and frustrating situations? I know your troubles. Even though physically away from you, I assure you that I am near your heart, understanding your feelings, being empathetic. Spiritual gurus always teach these aspects. How to be cool. What on earth is yours? What ever you think you have, are they yours? Do you take anything with you? Do you take any memories with you? The answer to all these questions are NO. That means we are guests here and living here as a duty to the god. God desires and makes us do what he wants. We are mere puppets in his hands. That is where the beauty of the life is. We are living in this world for the creator. He makes us do our Karma. We do. We are doing it for him. He gets his job done through us. By doing these jobs, we get satisfaction. Once you start feeling as if everything is yours, whatever you do is because of you and others around you and you are suffering, then you are wrongly perceiving. The above is the best way of explaining the worldly life without having to loose self peace. If you put everything upon god and stay calm, you have answer to whatever happening around you. Your wife is part of the play. She also acts as the creator makes her to act. Means she is also doing her Karma. Every other person is doing his Karma. So what is there to get angry, annoyed, frustrated? On Whom we should get angry, annoyed, frustrated? If your wife is asking you money, give if you have money or say you do not have. Nothing to get frustrated or angry. If you get angry or frustrated here, situation never changes. She keeps asking for money (because her Karma is that) and you repeatedly frustrated. The Karma God gave you is to be peaceful. Here with your narrow thinking, you loose your patience. Forgive me if I became more spiritual. But this could be the best way to make any person understand his value in the earth. What ever may happen, future is uncertain, past is past. We are supposed to live TODAY doing the KARMA god entrusted us. Keep yourself emotionally away from the worldly affairs. This does not mean you should not love. You can have all those positive emotions, but never let any emotions overwhelm you. No emotion should hijack your behavior. To be optimistic and happy, you should know the above things. Once you know about these and think deeply, they, the realities shall enlighten you. Automatically you shall be positive and happy. Do the meditations and breathing exercises regularly. Be a person who lives today, not in yesterday or tomorrow. Engage yourself in activities which keeps you happy. Include lot of activities with kids. When some kids play on the street, join them. Enjoy the life. You are just 47. You have lot of life in front of you. You cannot be like this, annoyed, pessimist, angry, frustrated and disappointed throughout all those years. CHANGE.....for better. And .... ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE YOU.... God bless you.