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Dr. Andrew Rynne

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Get orgasm while masturbating. Why am I not getting orgasm while having intercourse?

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Dr. Nsah Bernard

General & Family Physician

Practicing since :2012

Answered : 1704 Questions

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Posted on Mon, 11 Feb 2013 in Men Sexual Problems
Question: I have a huge problem with orgasms during sex. My wife and I have a healthy sex life but I can not finish with my wife. To reach orgasm I must masterbate. My wife has tried and tried to do this for me but has not been able to do it. This upsets her as well as me. As long as I am doing it I will reach orgasm. Why can I not orgasm with my wife during sex? I did masturbate often however I have slowed that way down for several months now, thinking this is the cause. But I am still not getting the job done in bed. What to do?
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Answered by Dr. Nsah Bernard 2 hours later
Hi,

Thank you for posting your health worries on HCM

Many studies have shown that people with addictive masturbation always turn to suffer from sexual problems with their spouses. When reading your description before you mentioned masturbation, I was already thinking that you probably had a history of masturbation. So definitely masturbation is the cause of you not able to satisfy your wife or even get satisfied by her.

What to do now? You have to both abstain from sex, that means you also have to abstain from masturbation.

How long? Depends on you.

The issue comes from your mind and how it perceives the method you use to reach organism. In your case, your brain ( subconscious) is fixed with your hands as organ to use for organism. So you need to reeducate your brain to start seeing a woman (and her vagina) as equally being able to satisfy you. Quitting masturbation at this point will recommend a lot of willingness from you and you might need to XXXXXXX a sex specialist to guide you through your recovery from the addiction. Withdrawal symptoms are expected. Just give yourself a couple of weeks of no sex. Watch sex movies with your wife but abstain from sex.

Hope this helps and write me anytime if you have any particular concerns.

Dr Nsah
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad
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