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Dear Doctor, Me And My Wife, We Are Blessed With

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Posted on Mon, 30 Dec 2019
Question: Dear Doctor, Me and my wife, we are blessed with a baby girl. The baby is 4 months old now. My wife had a cesarian delivery. After discharged from the hospital my wife met with an accident in the third week after delivery and had a fracture in her right hand. She couldn't lift the baby for about one and a half months. She couldn't feed the baby also. So the doctors here advised to use an electric breast pump to express the milk and feed the baby. During all these days I was taking care of the baby I used to lift the baby , pacify the baby , feed the mothers milk in the feeding bottle and change the nappy for the baby and did everything. Of course my wife was always with me and helping me but there was not much physical contact with mother and baby. Now the problem is after one and a half months the baby couldn't drink milk directly from mothers breast so we continued to give expressed milk. And now after 4 months completed now my baby started recognising everybody. Now she plays with my wife but the baby is crying a lot of I (father) is not nearby. When the baby cries and if my wife lifts the baby or anybody for that case the baby is crying a lot the baby becomes silent only if I lift her and pacify her. This has become a big problem. I am doing business and I couldn't go out do my work leaving the baby in house. And my wife is also worried and telling me why the baby is not coming to her mother itself. My wife feels very depressed about this. The baby is fine playing with everybody, with my wife, with my parents and everybody but always my baby looks around and checks whether I am nearby her. If I leave the baby with her mother or with my parents and leave the room even for 5 mins she will start crying like anything and only if I go lift her and pacify her she becomes silent. I am really confused I don't know what to do about this. I don't know now how toake the baby get attached with her mother. Please help with any solutions. Thanks.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Soujanya (5 hours later)
Brief Answer:
It is mainly because of early bonding recognised by the baby.

Detailed Answer:
Hi sir,
Welcome to ask a doctor service,

I have gone through your query in detail and can certainly understand your concern towards your baby.

Yes, it is mainly due to the early recognition of bonding and touch sensation of the father sensitised the baby much more than her mother.

It could be definitely a difficult situation, but can be overcome by that mother has to pamper the baby now most of the time and make baby recognise that she is her mother .

This would take some time and effort from the mother, but definitely would succeed .

I can reassure you about this , so nothing to worry, just make her mother to be in contact with the baby always as long as possible, while feeding, while sleeping, while playing with baby all the time that which solves your problem.

Hope the information would help you.

Thank you.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vaishalee Punj
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Answered by
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Dr. Soujanya

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2008

Answered : 709 Questions

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Dear Doctor, Me And My Wife, We Are Blessed With

Brief Answer: It is mainly because of early bonding recognised by the baby. Detailed Answer: Hi sir, Welcome to ask a doctor service, I have gone through your query in detail and can certainly understand your concern towards your baby. Yes, it is mainly due to the early recognition of bonding and touch sensation of the father sensitised the baby much more than her mother. It could be definitely a difficult situation, but can be overcome by that mother has to pamper the baby now most of the time and make baby recognise that she is her mother . This would take some time and effort from the mother, but definitely would succeed . I can reassure you about this , so nothing to worry, just make her mother to be in contact with the baby always as long as possible, while feeding, while sleeping, while playing with baby all the time that which solves your problem. Hope the information would help you. Thank you.