Disorientation dementia nightmares short term memory loss unable to articulate a complete thought. I lose my trend of thought before I finish the first paragraph. From the first sentence (or less) , I have forgotten what I was talking about. (even before I start talking. Hellucinations, vdieo and audio. voices sound like they are in the distance. 7 years ago I had a heart attack. 2 stents, My brother, 62 year old Pediatric Intensivist. Went in for a aortic valve replacement. He had a massive coronary and was brain dead. He was gone. multi system organ failure. 20 hrs later her children were standing over his body, hysterical. I m so broken from it. If I live a hundred years, I will never understand how these decisions were made that led to his sudden death. I m broken. I m lost and I want hm back.