Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. The scenarios you are mentioning here may not correspond to mental illness symptoms. They are simple symptoms regarding to your dissatisfaction. You are not satisfied with your life. And things happen which you perceive as negative. You are distressed and disappointment is the result. This disappointment makes you idle, lazy and good for nothing for some days. Then nature takes over. You cannot be like that forever and therefore, you rethinks. Do not worry. Time is a great physician. Help time to cure you. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.