Hi there ~
I understand your concerns. Ecstacy or MDMA is a psychostimulant and your becoming tired after the initial high and having dilated pupils are a normal reaction to the drug. However, it is not healthy to use it on a regular basis or even on an occasional basis. I believe that you will do well with using the help of an expert in the field who is a psychiatrist
specializing in substance use disorders. I hope you also get medical help
for all the symptoms you have had from the substance use.
I hope this helps. Take care and have a lovely day!