Hi, To understand the question, I must first explain the situation. These thoughts are unorganized in writing, bear with me please. I ve been watching the relationship of my parents for several years now, and it s gone downhill very quickly, most lately being my father got kicked out of the house and is now living with me. I have 8 siblings, and the older 5 (this includes my father for a total of 6 of us) were all oppressed and controlled by our mother. The younger 4 are not being shown any such treatment. In my mothers eyes, the 6 of us can do no right, and the younger 4 can do no wrong. She shows favorite to the younger 4 over all of us every single time. The older 5 want nothing to do with our mother and she has complete control over my younger 4 brothers, having them believe that everything that ever happened is my father s fault (even though she s the oppressive one) My father cannot express himself without her blowing up on him and saying that he does not care about how she feels, basically putting words in his mouth and insisting he said and meant things other than what was intended. She has such a fear of being criticized, even a little bit, that she puts on a mask out in public. And as soon as she gets home it comes off and she becomes her dictator self again. If anyone criticizes her even in the least, she blames my father (come to think of it, myself too, as he and I have very similar personalities) My parents have been married for roughly 30 years, and she remembers only 30 years of unhappiness (which is not true; while my father did explode at times and say things that he shouldn t have, he never was physically abusive) Anytime my father does anything good, she minimizes it and enlarges what he had done wrong (she has an incredible memory and will bring up things from 10, 15, 20 years ago) It s nearly impossible for her to forgive, and if, a very big if, she does, the punishment you must go through first exceeds the supposed crime. Dad and I both noticed that the longer he s away, the colder she becomes. One day she ll act all happy and warm and loving, and then the very next day, BAM!! she s back to being cold and all she remembers (even if falsely) is that my father somehow embarrassed her or upset her in some manner. She won t allow my father to see my 4 youngest siblings either; and she told my father that she will be testing him to see whether or not he would blow up before allowing him to move back in; basically he has to be a robot, showing no emotion whatsoever and obeying every command she gives, all the while listening to her tell him everything that she sees wrong with him and how it s his fault she s unhappy/insecure/has anxieties, etc. It s driving us insane, and I m a heartbeat away from seeking a court order for her to receive medical treatment-something she will not do on her own, as in her world she cannot ever be in the wrong. Her parents are exactly the same way, and my Dad and I will no longer go to family reunions because of it. She s so terrified of what her parents might think (even at the age of 50) that we re already convicted of wrongdoing before the reunion even starts! Before I become the one that needs a straight jacket, what should I do?