Hi & Welcome. I can understand your concerns, there is nothing to worry. Based on the history given you seem to be suffering a condition called Bipolar disorder or manic depressive psychosis. It is a psychiatric disorder in which a person experiences extreme variations in thinking, mood, and behavior. I advise you to consult a psychiatrist for proper evaluation and may be you need admission for a couple of days. Treatment usually includes both medication and therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy. Medications which are most commonly prescribed in this disorder include mood stabilizers such as Lithium, atypical antipsychotics such as Olanzapine, Quetiapine or Risperidone. Anti-anxiety medications such as benzodiazepine are sometimes used in the acute phase of mania. Hope the suggestions given above would be useful in getting treated.