Hi doctor,
How can I get my husband to cut down on his drinking? We have been married 18 years and it has always been an issue. Whenever I raise it, he gets defensive and angry and we end up having a major argument. The last time it happened he called me a dumb bitch in front of the kids. I was really upset. It was because I neglected to buy alcohol for a bbq we were having. When he asked me why I didn't get any, I replied we didn't need alcohol to have fun. He has to drink everyday. If he doesn't, he gets anxious and edgy. He can't go a day without it. He does function ok with other areas of his life eg working and providing for us. And he is a devoted father. I really just hate his drinking. He invites friends over as an excuse to drink in excess, as it is a social event. He also drinks in his car or in the garage by himself. I know because I find all the empty bottles. Sometimes I throw the drinks out in the bin outside. He gets them out. He drinks I'd say on average 4 drinks everyday, more in social situations. Am I over reacting? Should I just suck it up? I told him I am worried about his health and I want him to be around a long time for me and the kids, but that doesn't seem to work. He did give up alcohol for a day a handful of times and then sincerely asked me whether I was proud of him. (???!!!) He also drinks and drives as he can tolerate a large amount of alcohol and not have any effects or appear drunk. So he thinks he is fine to drive. He is also a pastor in our local church and extremely proud. He would never admit to having a problem. I would be grateful for your advice. Thanks, Adreanna