Hi, Welcome to health care magic. We understand your concern. I am Dr Alok Sinha, MD Psychiatry from India. I will try to help you with best of my effort. Apparently you are suffering from a Severe Depressive Episode. Depression is a serious but curable mental illness. Any person in world may have this illness. Depression may precipitate suddenly after some triggering factor/ stressing situation or it may come insidiously over a period of days to weeks without any obvious trigger. Like in your case you do not know why it is happening to you as apparently there are no precipitating factor. The suffering may continue from few weeks to years if not treated. But with treatment, a person have significant improvement of symptoms in an average of 2-3 weeks. A person suffering from depression have following main symptoms 1. Sadness of mood 2. Preference for solitude and social withdrawal 3. Reduced energy and lethargy 4. Reduced pleasure in pleasurable activities which he/she used to enjoy earlier 5. Poor appetite and disturbed sleep 6 Feeling of helplessness, that none can help me in present situation 7. Hopelessness, that condition can not be better in future 8. Low self esteem & guilt (thinking himself as a cause of all the mis-happenings and responsible for all the wrong things in past) 9. Ideas of worthlessness (life is not worth living), and even suicidal ideas or attempt. As you revealed, you have many of the above mentioned symptoms like sadness of mood, reduced energy and lethargy causing excessive sleepiness, ideas of worthlessness (feeling more dead than alive), suicidal ideas and multiple attempts of self harm/suicide. The person suffering from depression can be easily cured by psychiatric medicines and psychotherapy. I advise you to consult a psychiatrist at the earliest who may assess you in detail and prescribe you antidepressant drugs and/or psychotherapy for cure of illness. I hope this answers your question and wish you all the best.