Hi, I can understand your distress regarding ejaculating much earlier than you desire. You seem to be suffering from premature ejaculation. It is a condition when a male ejaculates earlier than desired which leads to dissatisfaction in sexual intercourse in either the person or his partner. Most of your problem seems to be related to anxiety that you are having related to your sexual performance. It is recommended that you seek a psychiatric consultation for treatment of your condition. Treatment will include medications and behavior therapy. Medications would include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors like paroxetine (daily) or dapoxetine on as required basis. Behavior therapy sessions would incorporate relaxation training, sex education and learning methods like squeeze technique, start-stop method and distraction. The sessions can be done once weekly and 6-10 sessions can be required depending on your progress. The best response to treatment occurs when both methods are used together. The outcome will be even more favorable if your wife participates in the behavior therapy sessions. Hope this information was helpful. Best wishes.