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Need more information about oral sex and intercourse

Hello Sir, I want to know that is intercourse painful? Is it necessary to have oral sex?The content which comes out of the penis is eatable? I am a girl & I never had sex till now. I am above 20 so I want to about this as anytime soon I will be getting married. Is getting pregnant & then giving birth to baby painful? I had a boyfriend & he said that I should take his penis in my mouth though we have never involved in sex but is it necessary to take penis in mouth before having sex?
Asked On : Wed, 13 Feb 2013
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Sexologist 's  Response
Hi,



You have asked questions that are in the minds of millions of girls today.



Is intercourse painful?

It is a widely prevalent (mis)belief that sexual intercourse is painful.



Actually sex has nothing to do with pain. It has everything to do with 'pleasure'.

However, the friend who told you from her personal experience that 'intercourse is painful' is not lying. Subconsciously, in a virgin, the opening of the vagina clamps shut. The penis if forced against this closed vaginal opening can cause pain and even bleeding. Hymen getting torn is not the primary cause of pain during sexual intercourse.



Why does the vaginal door close when I am willing for sex with a boy friend whom I love?

It is a sub conscious protective reflex. One is not accustomed to something going in vagina. Moreover, after hearing that 'sex is painful' the fear of pain triggers the reflex and the vaginal opening closes. This is called 'vaginismus'.



How to get over vaginismus is a separate topic.



Oral sex / Fellatio / Blow job

" - - - boyfriend & he said that I should take his penis in my mouth - - -"

It is not mandatory or written rule that penis has to be taken in mouth. It does not give pleasure to the girl, but it takes your man to the top floor of bliss. Being able to give joy is satisfying.



Fellatio/Blowjob/(What you call Oral Sex) would have been considered a taboo or perversion few decades ago. However, it is the in thing today. Most girls believe that it is normal part of sex like kissing, unaware that their mother's never did it.

This is getting popular today and desired by men especially due to the exposure to pornography, which shows the woman enjoying the act and even swallowing the cum (semen). Society's pernicious refusal to take or give factual value based sex education and availability and ease of access to fictional sexual adventure has now made fellatio a norm.



Cunnilingus (going down, eating pussy) is when a man licks the female genitals to give her pleasure. This gives ecstatic pleasure to the girl and satisfaction of giving bliss to the boy.



Both are safe. No health hazard. The more dirty is the sex, the better it is.



Child Birth

This is one of the most severe pains that a human being experiences. After the labor (child birth) pains when the sweet baby is delivered to the mother her face lightens up and the joy is so enviable and fulfilling that she doesn't mind to go for second delivery despite knowing about the pain. Also, the pain in subsequent deliveries becomes lesser.



Doctors have analgesics/anesthetics to mitigate the labor pain. In advanced (developed) countries some women chose artificial method of delivery, popularly called as Cesarean Section. The lady is given an anesthetic and the doctor deftly removes the baby from the mother's belly. In LSCS (Lower Segment Caesarian Section) the surgical scar is far below in the tummy hidden by the bikini, hence also called as the bikini incision.



Note:

Some studies have revealed that the mother child bonding is enhanced when the mother undergoes labor pains.

Scientific evidence exists to prove that acupuncture can reduce the labor pains without the side effects of pain relieving medicines (analgesics) or anesthetics.

It is also proved that squatting position (the way Indian's use for toilet as against sitting position) is far better than the supine recumbent position that is in vogue.



If you have any additional questions feel free to ask.



Best wishes,

Dr. Ashok Koparday

Answered: Thu, 14 Feb 2013
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