I get myself nerved so easily..and I have been suffering from mental illness for two years......I became so stupid at college and I have a undergraduation admission test after 1 month. I feel week and always fear something worse will occur again
........I fear street boys as they hover after my beautiful sister..........
Whenever I feel upset I feel pain in my heart...I can't breathe.....I can't talk...I stammer...........my feet's and hand vibrate....
It's been two years I can't study hard for negativity.......I always think about people's who hurt me and I keep it on..........
I failed to get myself admitted in two famous university in my country for this mental sickness.....
It's like a chain and I again and again repeat.....
At a extreme point I see ghost ....get frightened by sudden sounds.......
Day by day I am becoming so afraid that I'm doing mistakes unconsciously and I often do silly mistakes which I don't deserve to do.....like 2+2=4 but I write 5..........
There was a cricket match I was watching...a batsman was not being out by bowlers and that wicket was very important.......
It took a while to make him out but in that period my body became so cool....I was sweating a lot...I was choking......I became so afraid of that batsman and I thought it's impossible to out him though eventually thank God we won...........
Nowadays my decay rate is increasing...I was never like now......I feel so numb.....I think I can't succeed in this last engineering university undergraduation admission test which will be held after 17 days...
My parents r so outrageous they often use epic words especially my mother......they always want my failure. They think if I get engineer I will become so powerful...I know that's stupid......some teachers are ready to bust me if I don't succeed this test....
I want to be a electrical engineer...I want to marry.....but I am becoming so week......
To get some pleasure I did some porn which also hurted me a lot....I hate it...
That's how I can't work.....I am 19 years old now.....
Pls help me