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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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How To Deal With A Partner Who Is Overdoing Masturbation?

My partner is 65 year old man. I am not sure how often he masturbates, but have discovered him many times masturbating and at inappropriate times. He says he can masturbate for 1 - 2 hours at a time. Seems whenever he has an opportunity alone he masturbates. He is unable to climax during intercourse. He will loose his erection many times during intercourse unless he takes medication and will go for minimum of 20 minutes or more without climaxing. He will sometimes climax during oral sex or stimulation with my hands after a half hour or more. He says he would rather have intercourse than masturbation, although from experience I don t believe him. He had climaxes during intercourse when he stopped masturbating for a couple of weeks. I wouldn t have such an issue if the masturbation was part of our love making, but it is behind my back or I walk into the room to discover him whacking off all on his own and I have not been included. This is a turn off for me and I don t want to have sex with him when I discover this. I have reacted in several ways. I have participated, I have watched and at inappropriate times I shut the door and left as I felt I was intruding. I do not experience Desire from him, for me, other than when we are under the sheets. I have a sex drive and I feel more desire emitting from other men looking at me then my partner. I have always had very healthy, active, sexually satisfying relationships with other men in my past. I have always been desired by my past partners.I have never experienced a man masturbating so often like the partner I have now. I have repeatedly discussed his habitual masturbation with him and how it affects me, our relationship and he continues to masturbate. I feel as if I am having a 3 way relationship with he and Rosy, and he really prefers Rosy. I think (I could stand corrected) that since he is masturbating so much he lacks desire he normally would for me as he has Rosy. I wish I could have the attention he gives to Rosy as then maybe I could have a satisfying sex life. I am loosing my interest in making love with him as he won t climax with me because he is masturbating behind my back. I feel a lack of intimacy and have discussed this with him. I am at the point of acceptance of his behavior and that it will not change. This is intolerable for me. I want to live my life with a man who desires me over Rosy and I want a great sex life.
Fri, 21 Mar 2014
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Sexologist 's  Response
Hello
Your partner is having significant sex derive . Some of the problems like losing erection and difficulty to reach climax may be age related. It is important to know whether he prefers masturbation ,even in your presence which is abnormal otherwise one can adjust their love life. Please don't feel rejected by this habit because it may be a big turn on for him. To get the best sex life, increase the type,time and variety of foreplay to help him reach greater level of arousal. You can bathe together, massage each other , rub inside of your limbs, give and receive oral stimulation, and so on. I can help you do it in several ways. Talk to him. We can try to find what is the issue.
DR SAATIISH JHUNTRRAA
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How To Deal With A Partner Who Is Overdoing Masturbation?

Hello Your partner is having significant sex derive . Some of the problems like losing erection and difficulty to reach climax may be age related. It is important to know whether he prefers masturbation ,even in your presence which is abnormal otherwise one can adjust their love life. Please don t feel rejected by this habit because it may be a big turn on for him. To get the best sex life, increase the type,time and variety of foreplay to help him reach greater level of arousal. You can bathe together, massage each other , rub inside of your limbs, give and receive oral stimulation, and so on. I can help you do it in several ways. Talk to him. We can try to find what is the issue. DR SAATIISH JHUNTRRAA