Hello Dr Carmichael My name is Winny. I haven t had the best childhood given that I had an abusive alcoholic father who used to abuse my two siblings and I as well as my mother too. We would even sleep outside the house (in the yard) in fear of him hurting us. I was in like 2nd grade when this started happening and I was the youngest child. My depression started then and i had a couple of suicidal thoughts back then. Last year I found myself crying every night because it was hard for me to focus on my studies and still come back home to a drunkard father eveyday who would swear at me whenever he wanted. I am 22 now and he has actually stopped drinking and isn t abusive anymore. But, now my mother is always angry at me. I feel as though she treats me differently than my two siblings (who are living in their own homes now). Whenever she shouts at me she swears at me with the most disturbing swearwords ever. I always find myself crying and I lock myself in my room and just sit and watch movies... Just to escape my reality. I feel like God doesn t love me. For me to experience my dads abuse for 15 years of my life, get some sort of healing, only to get ill treated and disrespected by my own mother a few months later. I feel like I am the black sheep of my family. I dont feel like my mother loves me. I know my mom would flip if I brought this up to her because she s so old schooled that she doesn t see the importance of having a heart-to-heart with your own kids. I really don t know what to do or who to talk to. I talk to my sister , and she doesn t get it. All she tells me is to pray and have faith that things change. Something I ve been doing for 15 years. I am unhappy and I feel unloved. I just wanna cry and drop out of school and run away altogether! Coming home everyday is depressing. I always lock myself in my room because no-one understands me. I need help. What are your suggestions?