I suffer from Abused child syndrome, Complex PTSD, and multiple anxiety disorders all stemming from growing up in extreme abuses and neglect, and then marrying 3 abusive men over the course of 24 years. I left my last abuser 13 years ago, and have broken through the codependent behaviors that cause women to re-victimize themselves. I am still single now- by choice. I have taken many steps forward in my life. But there is one problem I have not been able to concur... and it prevents me moving forward in my life. Because of the emotional and physical repercussions of 42 years of abuse, I am now disabled, and have been receiving SSDI since 2009. I also have a Home Health Aide that comes and helps me clean the house, shopping, paying bills, etc. When she is here I talk and interact with her,. But as soon as she leaves I go back into a state of near catatonia. My brain works wbut I can not get to the point of decision making, and action. Mostly I sit and stare. Or I write out plans of how I want my life to be, but can not actually do any of it. My Psychologists says its avoidance syndrome, and I have to be more responsible for my own behavior. But that isn t it. This is not laziness, When I am alson there is a Blankness in my mind when I try to make decisions about doing things in my home, and writing- which is my only way to earn income . I am very frustrated, and I can not take it any more. What is causing this, and how do I make it go away? Please help me. I deserve to have a life- I want an active life, I am intelligent, and very creative, The stories in my head are worth writing, and many would love them, If I can get to the point of being able to organize and achieve my goals on a daily basis. I am a wonderful, insightful person, if I could only live outside my own head, I would be able to realize my dreams, and drag myself out of this hole I live in. With only $700 a month to live on, you can see why I am so adamant on this issue.