HI, i'm Nolan and I am experiencing some pretty terrifying issues. This morning when I was about to do my mediation I felt some leakage coming out of my downstairs orifices (yes both of them) when I went to check I noticed there was some sort of clam-like organism STUCK TO MY INNER THIGH. Should I yank it out? It may have happened when I swam in a swamp with some of my dogs but I don't know for sure.

Please send help