For almost 20 years now I have struggled hard with addiction. At 22 I was serving 7 yrs for a string of robberies directly related to Hydromorphone, Dilaudid, Morphine Sulphate, etc, About 3 or 4 years in to my sentence I went on the Methadone program while still serving. I continued on Methadone for over 5 years. I actually forgot how to fix. Anyhow after release and working hard to put my own residential cleaning business together, nevermind the dozen other beautiful things are now gone. Anyways that's on me. I asked Dr Postnikoff if he could wean me off the methadone because it was restricting me from travel and what not. His reply was 2 weeks and I'd be pulling armed robberies again. He literally argued with me about it and wouldn't. His business is privately run and all patients pay out their own pocket. Just saying. So I came off cold turkey. Tried changing a pattern and moving cities, bought Epson salt and a list of things I was told would help me. Oh, how could I forget, my only brother and only sister both died directly related to their prescriptions just couple months b4 I came back. My mom was by herself though. I'm the baby. Lol. Not no more that's for sure. So I went to my moms doctor, told the truth about everything, and let the doctor know my story and that I was withdrawling from methadone and feeling like shit. I do not know why I say this part because no one would admit it but he came back in the room after departing with a 'urine' bottle and Oxy Contin 20mg inside and said return in 4 days so he could lok more in to it. So went back, Hydromorphone 24mg at first to hydro 18mg and Dilaudud 4mg 2 and 3 times a day. Anyways, my brother received Oxy 80mg did not even make it to his second pick up before overdose. If someone could see all the benzos my sister received 'although' her continuous suicide attempts and shock therapy. Sorry , I'm losing train of thought., I had open heart surgery and my valve replaced. People in hospitals I'm sure started asking questions and what not. Me wanting to live came off voluntarily and went back on methadone. The methadone is not working and Ive been discharged. .... Ive spoke to much without proper sentencing and unsure if I will even make any sense. Should I really be without nothing and wasn't this all avidable. I had no and knew no one to get from. He was the first. Maybe should have been me to stand up and walk away but Id like to see anyone withdrawling from methadone do that with the 'anser' put right in their face. I wont live much longer I'm sure. Ive already started relapsing. Again that's on me. All I know is every pharmascist, every doctor or nurse has always questioned my prescription. What should I do