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Why am I having unwanted dreams?

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General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 5130 Questions
Why do I continue to have dreams with my ex boyfriend even after breaking up 11 years ago. I am soon getting married to an amazing man that I have been with for 8 years. My current relationship is so much healthier than the last one. It greatly disturbs me having these dreams and want them to stop. Please help.
Posted Sat, 8 Feb 2014 in Sleep Disorders
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 2 hours later
Brief Answer: Please, you need to forget and move forward! Detailed Answer: Hi and thank you so much for this query. I am so sorry to hear about these continued dreams about your ex boyfriend. I understand how troubling this can be especially severals years after the relationship got over. I hope this has not impacted the current healthier relationship you are into right now. Our dreams really emanates from our thoughts. Most probably either in your conscious or subconscious state, you still think about him. To me, it is no problem having dreams once in a while about someone you actually shared so much with in the past. Also, if these dreams are not bothersome in anyway, then it is totally normal and healthy. Remember he was never an enemy but a very close friend. The relationship may be over but the memories live on. I will not expect you to think of him daily but I also know it would be impossible to eliminate all memories about him. Accept that this is someone who played a part in your life in the past and feel comfortable to have some flash backs related to him. What disturbs is not the dream but, the way you chose to react to. Tell yourself you would take this to be normal and it would get better. Spending so much time after the dream thinking about it only reinforces the thoughts and makes it grow worse. Accept the dreams, think less about the and they would slowly fade away with time. Invest your time into positive thoughts about the current partner and not the dreams. I hope this helps address your problem. In summary, accept the dreams as normal, think less about them and focus more on the current partner. It is not abnormal to have dreams about someone you shared so much with. I wish you well. Thank you so much for using our services and do feel free to ask for clarifications or request more information if need be. Dr. Ditah, MD.
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