What causes sudden social isolation?
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Hi, I wanted to know if you can help me figure out something. My "boyfreind"called me up on Saturday morning like he did everyday,talked for awhile, then said he loved me and would call me later. I even called him in the afternoon to tell him his favorite movie was on and he didn't answer but called me back so I told him about the movie, and we hung up. That evening, like every evening, he called me at 6:30pm and we talked[. We had been doing this routine for 3 1/2 years.]This time he cut it short and said he had been sick in the stomache all day and he was going to lay down. He said "Iove you and I will call you in the morning."I said I loved him too. Well, that was the last time I heard from him!I found out that very night, 3:00am in the morning he took all his things and left the house without telling his family, his stepdad said he heard him but thought he was letting the dog out. His phone finally started ringing Tuesday but he wouldn't answer, so I called him on a different phone with a number he didnt recognize so he answered. When he heard it was me,he hung up and even changed his number. I found out later that he called his brother and said he was trying to start a new life. I am so shocked, confused, and hurt that after 3 1/2 years, 4 hour phone calls everyday, and especially the last day, he went through the regular morning call, said he Loved me, then in the evening call, saying he Loved me and would call me in the morning! He knew he was never going to speak to me again! What kind of mind does this to people? Is this a sociopath?His stepfather was also upset that he took off like that not even saying anything to anyone. But I was there for him when his mom got very sick, when his son was in jail, anytimes of crisis. I feel like he just had me around so he wouldn't be bored and when he found out that he wouldn't be lonely anymore, he just tossed me like trash!I have been very upset by this and keep feeling like i did something wrong, can you help me make sense of what kind of man would do this to his family and girlfriend ?He used to talk about us living together too!
Posted Wed, 5 Mar 2014 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Saatiish Jhuntrraa 1 hour later
Brief Answer: Convey your love and confidence in his abilities Detailed Answer: Hello Thanks for choosing WWW.WWWW.WW No, this is not sociopath. I think it is too early to conclude that he has tossed you out of his life. His family life is obviously very disturbed because he has a step father, brother in jail for sometime . Some times people have to prove some thing to themselves and others in society . They want to achieve something. It doesn't necessarily mean he has rejected you. I would suggest you to keep cool, repose your faith and love in him and tell him you love him and continue to do so. When he cools down a bit, try and talk under what circumstances he left his house and emphasize you are always with him, no matter what. Give him some cool off period, he will talk to you. Good Luck Dr Saatiish Jhuntrraa
Follow-up: What causes sudden social isolation? 3 hours later
no his son was in jail but that was over a year ago, the son is in XXXXXXX and that's where my boyfriend went. He hung up on me and changed his number over a month now. I have tried to leave him messeges through his son and they are read but he has no interest in speaking with me. I have autistic children and he was upset with the way I discipline them, he said I should hit them and I said no way, so there were little problems starting. I want to know how someone can tell you they love you and say they will call you the next day knowing they want nothing to do with you and they even hang up and change their number so you cannot contact them, is this a person with mental problems? He also would make up stories about things that I knew were not true. He doesn't want anything to do with me so why didn't he just tell me that instead of saying he loved me and would talk to me in the morning? It was all a lie?Remember this was a month ago
Answered by Dr. Saatiish Jhuntrraa 6 hours later
Brief Answer: Please cool off and think what is best for you Detailed Answer: Hello This is not due to a mental illness but could be due to ulterior motive . People are like this. You will find such people in large numbers, actually honest and straightforwardness has become a rarity. If he is behaving this way, you also take some time to cool off and than decide what is best for you. Life is for moving forwards. Good Luck DR SAATIISH JHUNTRRAA