Brief Answer:
it depends upon you and your husband's thinking

Detailed Answer:
Hello XXXXXXX

Thanks for writing to us.

There is no criteria for normal sex frequency in couple.

If you and your husband are satisfied with your sex frequency, quality of intercourse and intimacy and emotional relationship between you; it is normal.
If there is something wrong in above factors, it can be abnormal.

Please provide following details so I can give some more useful comments.

I am not clear about your narration," me and my husband doesn't have sex for a month or more". Please specify exactly. Is it once in a month (that I understood) or only for one month?

Education and occupation of yours and your husband.

Thoughts and view about sex of both of you.

Some details about relationship and intimacy between you.

Any family issue?

Any economical, social or occupational stress is there among you?

History of your menstrual period, contraception, pregnancy, abortion.

Waiting for your reply,

Regards
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

---

Brief Answer:
you need couple counselling

Detailed Answer:
Hello XXXXXXX

Thanks for info. Although you did not provide all details asked by me, I will try my best to answer your query.

As you both are working and your husband is travelling more, there is lack of quality time which you can spend together. Sex is not the only part of life which makes husband and wife connect rather it is only one part of many factors. The important part is how much quality time you spend with each other, understand each other, and can spare time for romance and foreplay.

You mentioned you are happy with each other then what is hurdle to plan pregnancy? Why are you in two minds? You should plan pregnancy as early as possible because after female’s age of 30, chances of different complication of pregnancy increases as age increases. I think you both need a break to give time to each other. To have pregnancy you need to have successful intercourse as much times as possible around ovulation period.

Considering your history I think to have sex once in a month is not normal though it is not abnormal.

You both need couple counselling by a psychiatrist to solve your problems.

Sorry to say but your last sentence, “i am not happy with the problem mentioned but more than that worried if theres anything wrong with me or him” is not clear to me please explain clearly.

I again also request you to answer my all previous questions if feasible to clear your problem status and give me opportunity to help you more specifically.

Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

---

Brief Answer:
Covince your husband for counselling

Detailed Answer:
Hi XXXXXXX

Thanks for detail information. Now I got your problem clearly.

The main issue here is lack of emotional bonding between you specifically from your husband’s side. You are absolutely right that sex is very big stress relieving factor. Your husband is not able to spare time for intimacy and sex which is required by you. In my opinion you as a couple need counselling for relationship issue as well as family planning. Your husband is telling he doesn’t love you that suggest something not well between you though you are together and happy. As both of you have second marriage, detail history regarding past marital life to be evaluated which may be impacting on current marriage life subconsciously.

In 4th decade of life you should have decided priority of life. I mean family planning, job planning and economical panning. You are concern about economical planning but not about family planning. This requires detail evaluation of both of you from psychological point of view to solve out the problem.

Ask your husband to be with you for this and ready to consult psychiatrist for shake of your future.

Ultimate conclusion is that you are absolutely right on your side that you are not satisfied with frequency of sex and your husband’s attitude towards sex. At least once or twice a week depending upon mood and situation sexual relationship should be there. And for this only your husband can do something.

Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to answer if still any confusion.
All the best & Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

---