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Suggest Ways To Deal With A Broken Relationship
Question: Dr. Bishnoi today went okay I guess. XXXX's lawyer and the judge were talking and his lawyer said that if I was leaving then his client that is XXXXXXX might be willing to dismiss the injunction...he just wants it all to be done with.. XXXXXXX did not show up..the judge really put me through the ringer but I wasn't phased..i quoted the law to him and said that there was a court dereliction and he said," You mean to tell me that you think that the law says that he should have notified you before he filed the injunction.?" I said, " Not me your honor but this is what the law says and I quote...then I quoted it to him..he looked a bit confused and looked down at his hands and started writing..then he wanted to know why I didn't cite my references and I didn't have an answer except that at the time I didn't know any of them...I told him it was fairly easy to find and told him just to google it under XXXXXXX v XXXXXXX a case very similar to this one...but at the end,XXXX's lawyer when I asked him why he didn't show up he just shrugged and said he just didn't want contact...I feel so sad like he doesn't love me anymore but at least his lawyer said that he might be willing to get the injunction dismissed...there is no guarantee that he will get evaluated however as the judge obviously hadn't even read my briefs and didn't seem to want to take the time to do it either...we will be leaving in three weeks and I guess I will never see XXXXXXX again.....I am feeling so conflicted and sad....yet relieved...I just don't understand why he doesn't love me anymore....why did he tell me he was deeply in love with me when he doesn't ever want to see me again? Even his lawyer was nice to me and didn't try too hard to come against me...
Brief Answer:
Remain hopeful and believe in GOD
Detailed Answer:
Hello again
The events that happened in court show that most probably the Judge will order to get the injunction dropped. So if the injunction is dropped then we will at least pass first phase and this will be considered as a win. Now if XXXXXXX didn't show up in court but is willing to dismiss the injunction then that is also a good thing. At least he in some remote corner of mind have some positive things for you even in such phase of illness.
He is ill and has no insight so this is the reason he changed suddenly. Lets hope the judge order the evaluation of XXXXXXX Believe in God and hope for the best please. Don't feel bad about anything, now at least we have some positive news.
Thanks.
Remain hopeful and believe in GOD
Detailed Answer:
Hello again
The events that happened in court show that most probably the Judge will order to get the injunction dropped. So if the injunction is dropped then we will at least pass first phase and this will be considered as a win. Now if XXXXXXX didn't show up in court but is willing to dismiss the injunction then that is also a good thing. At least he in some remote corner of mind have some positive things for you even in such phase of illness.
He is ill and has no insight so this is the reason he changed suddenly. Lets hope the judge order the evaluation of XXXXXXX Believe in God and hope for the best please. Don't feel bad about anything, now at least we have some positive news.
Thanks.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
But according to his lawyer he didn't want contact. His lawyer said he might be willing to drop the injunction because i was going to be gone...does that mean that he is glad to see me go and he knows I will just leave him alone? It was kind of confusing...the lawyer was very nice to me and didn't try to make me look bad before the judge but I just feel sad that XXXXXXX didn't even come to court...could that have been because he is so agitated and stressed out or is it that he just doesn't care about me anymore and is relieved that he won't ever have to see me again? We leave for Israel in three weeks and I don't yet have a place to live but it doesn't seem like it will be that hard to get a place....I don't know if XXXXXXX is just glad he never has to see me ever again or if as you say in some part of his heart he is still in love with me.....how can I ever tell? What is your experience when a schizophrenic turns against the one he used to love?
I am glad that we are moving to Israel just sad that I won't see XXXXXXX again..I can't be with him anyway unless he is getting treatment but still I really really loved him....the grief has been hard but at least it is not as bad as before...I just feel sad...I am leaving everyone and everything familiar including my daughter for a country where I don't even know the language well but I understand that they are very accepting of everyone..I just wish XXXXXXX was coming with us...
DR. B. I don't think he loves me anymore...he only wants me to leave for israel and not be his girlfriend anymore..I feel so sad and hurt....rejected and abandoned...did he ever love me? Why doesn't he love me now? Why do schizophrenics stop loving their girlfriend's and fiancees? I KNOW at one point he was going to ask me to marry me and now its been almost two years since he was at my house...why? What did I do?What made him stop loving me?
I am glad that we are moving to Israel just sad that I won't see XXXXXXX again..I can't be with him anyway unless he is getting treatment but still I really really loved him....the grief has been hard but at least it is not as bad as before...I just feel sad...I am leaving everyone and everything familiar including my daughter for a country where I don't even know the language well but I understand that they are very accepting of everyone..I just wish XXXXXXX was coming with us...
DR. B. I don't think he loves me anymore...he only wants me to leave for israel and not be his girlfriend anymore..I feel so sad and hurt....rejected and abandoned...did he ever love me? Why doesn't he love me now? Why do schizophrenics stop loving their girlfriend's and fiancees? I KNOW at one point he was going to ask me to marry me and now its been almost two years since he was at my house...why? What did I do?What made him stop loving me?
Brief Answer:
Try hard for his evaluation.
Detailed Answer:
Hello again
He might be having stress and psychotic symptoms and this is the probable reason he didn't come to court. At least he also don't want injunction to stay. He is willing to drop the injunction for you and this shows that he doesn't want anything bad for you. Yes he is ill and is having psychosis and based upon our previous conversations we can assume that he still have psychotic symptoms and he might not want to harm you. Though as I haven't seen him so I can't say this with certainty. Still as the injunction will be lifted so this is a good news. Try hard for his evaluation.
I have many patients of Schizophrenia but as they are under treatment so they are doing well. Secondly family support here for patients of Schizophrenia is relatively better if we compare to US. Here though family members feel hostility in dealing with patients of Schizophrenia but they want their near one to get treated. XXXXXXX is living alone and no one is there that can help in treatment. This is one of worst factor for his treatment.
You did nothing, he is ill and he lost his insight. This is not your fault. Schizophrenics under influence of delusions develop sudden change in behaviour. This is the reason he suddenly distanced himself from you. This is not your fault. Please don't blame yourself for anything, just try to remain relaxed and try hard for his evaluation.
Thanks
Try hard for his evaluation.
Detailed Answer:
Hello again
He might be having stress and psychotic symptoms and this is the probable reason he didn't come to court. At least he also don't want injunction to stay. He is willing to drop the injunction for you and this shows that he doesn't want anything bad for you. Yes he is ill and is having psychosis and based upon our previous conversations we can assume that he still have psychotic symptoms and he might not want to harm you. Though as I haven't seen him so I can't say this with certainty. Still as the injunction will be lifted so this is a good news. Try hard for his evaluation.
I have many patients of Schizophrenia but as they are under treatment so they are doing well. Secondly family support here for patients of Schizophrenia is relatively better if we compare to US. Here though family members feel hostility in dealing with patients of Schizophrenia but they want their near one to get treated. XXXXXXX is living alone and no one is there that can help in treatment. This is one of worst factor for his treatment.
You did nothing, he is ill and he lost his insight. This is not your fault. Schizophrenics under influence of delusions develop sudden change in behaviour. This is the reason he suddenly distanced himself from you. This is not your fault. Please don't blame yourself for anything, just try to remain relaxed and try hard for his evaluation.
Thanks
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Could he still care about me then? I will be gone now and there is no one who will care for him? Did u mean to say he doesnt want to harm me? I dont k ow how I can get him evaluated unless the judge decides to do it but it might be after I am gone. I am being told to call the police if he tries to come over or email me..but I dont think he will. He lacks insight into who his true friends are a d chooses people who harm him rather than help him. But u didnt answer my question. Do u think he could still care for me under all of that mess?
Brief Answer:
Wait for the injunction to be dropped
Detailed Answer:
Hello again
Yes in my opinion and based upon our old conversations about XXXXXXX at least he doesn't want you to suffer any more. As he himself want to get this injunction dropped so this is a positive gesture from his side. Wait for the injunction dropped and then hope that the judge order for his evaluation.
Other possibility, he skipped court could be that he is afraid of court proceeding. He might be afraid of evaluation and by skipping court he might miss the evaluation. Though this is my speculation only and I may be wrong in this.
In my opinion he care about you. But as he is ill, he is in psychosis so this thing is not much of use. I haven't seen him and my opinion is based upon our conversations only.
Thanks.
Wait for the injunction to be dropped
Detailed Answer:
Hello again
Yes in my opinion and based upon our old conversations about XXXXXXX at least he doesn't want you to suffer any more. As he himself want to get this injunction dropped so this is a positive gesture from his side. Wait for the injunction dropped and then hope that the judge order for his evaluation.
Other possibility, he skipped court could be that he is afraid of court proceeding. He might be afraid of evaluation and by skipping court he might miss the evaluation. Though this is my speculation only and I may be wrong in this.
In my opinion he care about you. But as he is ill, he is in psychosis so this thing is not much of use. I haven't seen him and my opinion is based upon our conversations only.
Thanks.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Okay. This is what my son thought also...he is terrified of hospitals and doctors...what should I do if he comes to my apartment before we leave? We are being told to call the police but as i really don't think he will hurt me would this be the best thing to do? I want him in the hospital but not in jail....when he finds out that I am leaving, he just might want to see me then....I feel so sad for the poor man...a lot of my suffering I have passed through but he has not as he has not had any help...do you think I should call the police? If I do should I just tell them that he is mentally ill and needs to be hospitalized?
Brief Answer:
Calling police will make situation worse
Detailed Answer:
Hello again
If he comes to your apartment after the injunction is dropped then in my opinion first talk with him. Talking with him might improve the over all situation. In my opinion calling police will worsen the situation. You can't tell them that he is a mentally ill patient and you want him in hospital only. Calling police might result in bad situation. Remain hopeful and improve your health. Wait for your Israel trip which is your dream.
Thanks.
Calling police will make situation worse
Detailed Answer:
Hello again
If he comes to your apartment after the injunction is dropped then in my opinion first talk with him. Talking with him might improve the over all situation. In my opinion calling police will worsen the situation. You can't tell them that he is a mentally ill patient and you want him in hospital only. Calling police might result in bad situation. Remain hopeful and improve your health. Wait for your Israel trip which is your dream.
Thanks.
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Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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