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Suggest Treatment For Severe Anxiety And Depression
Question: hello doctor,
I m 22 years old female..i m a college student.my college is so strict so that I cant go out even for outing.outing is allowed only if parents come.all my friends went out for intern..so only few of my classmates stay in the college .and they were not that close.so I wont talk much to them..when I was in second year I met a guy..we gradually became friends.he was so sweet and kind to me ..I feel in love with him at the start of fourth year.i proposed.and he accepted.for 1 week it was so nice..we were happy..after 1 week he started ignoring me .he started scolding.i wentto the depression and asked why you are doing this.he said me that we cant get married in future ( due to my family and his family).so let us end this..i cried first and later agreed..but for 2 days we remined as friends..and again started romance and love all those..when I asked for meeting he will never come because he used to say I will never forget him after the meetings..he will never treat me properly..he wont text properly..he wont attend the call..he wont treat me well..each time when I decide to leave him he used to convince me somehow and make me stay him with him..but when we go home in train..he used to be very sweet and very romantic..in college I was so alone,i have no friends..i begged him literally to treat me properly and stay sweet with me..because no one was here in the college because its my final year ..I m totally frustrated and depressed..sometimes when he mistreat me I feel like throwing everything which is near to me..i think my love on him has lost..i don't know why I m addicted to him..though he treat me so bad..when he treat me bad I feel so bad..totally depressed..i m crying all day..i don't know what to do..please help me to come out from this mam..i need to be happy before him.and moreover I always used to give him money everythimg.his family is poor..so I used to give him money for project and his daily needs..i used to give him a lot of expensive gifts..he never gave me except a bracelet.i used to help him a lot..but he never treated me well like when I text for each text he will reply after 1 hr or next day..if I call he will cut the call..or mostly my number will be in blocklist..if I ask any help he used behave so harsh to me like u don't know anything..he never understood that I was alone in the college and suffering a lot..he used to roam with friends a lot,,when I ask him out ,he used to say I have that work this work..but mostly he wont have that much work..i even said that I wont ask for the marriage..but please help me in this situation..i m alone here..but he never responded..but while going home he used to hold my hands and talk so romantic..i feel totally frustrated..please help me to come out from this
I m 22 years old female..i m a college student.my college is so strict so that I cant go out even for outing.outing is allowed only if parents come.all my friends went out for intern..so only few of my classmates stay in the college .and they were not that close.so I wont talk much to them..when I was in second year I met a guy..we gradually became friends.he was so sweet and kind to me ..I feel in love with him at the start of fourth year.i proposed.and he accepted.for 1 week it was so nice..we were happy..after 1 week he started ignoring me .he started scolding.i wentto the depression and asked why you are doing this.he said me that we cant get married in future ( due to my family and his family).so let us end this..i cried first and later agreed..but for 2 days we remined as friends..and again started romance and love all those..when I asked for meeting he will never come because he used to say I will never forget him after the meetings..he will never treat me properly..he wont text properly..he wont attend the call..he wont treat me well..each time when I decide to leave him he used to convince me somehow and make me stay him with him..but when we go home in train..he used to be very sweet and very romantic..in college I was so alone,i have no friends..i begged him literally to treat me properly and stay sweet with me..because no one was here in the college because its my final year ..I m totally frustrated and depressed..sometimes when he mistreat me I feel like throwing everything which is near to me..i think my love on him has lost..i don't know why I m addicted to him..though he treat me so bad..when he treat me bad I feel so bad..totally depressed..i m crying all day..i don't know what to do..please help me to come out from this mam..i need to be happy before him.and moreover I always used to give him money everythimg.his family is poor..so I used to give him money for project and his daily needs..i used to give him a lot of expensive gifts..he never gave me except a bracelet.i used to help him a lot..but he never treated me well like when I text for each text he will reply after 1 hr or next day..if I call he will cut the call..or mostly my number will be in blocklist..if I ask any help he used behave so harsh to me like u don't know anything..he never understood that I was alone in the college and suffering a lot..he used to roam with friends a lot,,when I ask him out ,he used to say I have that work this work..but mostly he wont have that much work..i even said that I wont ask for the marriage..but please help me in this situation..i m alone here..but he never responded..but while going home he used to hold my hands and talk so romantic..i feel totally frustrated..please help me to come out from this
Brief Answer:
Don't worry. I am here.
Detailed Answer:
Dear Kiruthi. I can perfectly understand your state of mind. You are already 22. You have 22 years of experience behind you. You have crossed the age group of adolescence and therefore you have crossed the infatuation stage. You are mature enough to understand your problem and to find a solution for this emotional situation.
From the given details (these are your version, If I ask your boy friend, he will be having something else to say, remember), it seems that your boy friend is almost using you. He is using your finance and your emotions. Otherwise no one can be like him without understanding your emotions, your loneliness etc.
He will not near you, he will not reply you, he will text you or call you, on many occasion he will ignore you, even if you try to call him, he cuts the connection etc. all these simply showcases his attitude towards you.
In the given situation, there is only way. to exit. Don't say that you are addicted to him. I understand, love is blind. But it also has mature view point. Because you are matured, your love cannot be just an addiction or infatuation. Be a wise girl and quit the relationship.
Everyone are lonely one way or other. We have to convert the loneliness into creative and make use of the creative loneliness. Blaming loneliness repeatedly will never help you anywhere.
So I suggest you, instead of lamenting your present condition, be brave enough to quit the relationship. Don't worry. Take the decision and I will help you emotionally.
Take care.
Don't worry. I am here.
Detailed Answer:
Dear Kiruthi. I can perfectly understand your state of mind. You are already 22. You have 22 years of experience behind you. You have crossed the age group of adolescence and therefore you have crossed the infatuation stage. You are mature enough to understand your problem and to find a solution for this emotional situation.
From the given details (these are your version, If I ask your boy friend, he will be having something else to say, remember), it seems that your boy friend is almost using you. He is using your finance and your emotions. Otherwise no one can be like him without understanding your emotions, your loneliness etc.
He will not near you, he will not reply you, he will text you or call you, on many occasion he will ignore you, even if you try to call him, he cuts the connection etc. all these simply showcases his attitude towards you.
In the given situation, there is only way. to exit. Don't say that you are addicted to him. I understand, love is blind. But it also has mature view point. Because you are matured, your love cannot be just an addiction or infatuation. Be a wise girl and quit the relationship.
Everyone are lonely one way or other. We have to convert the loneliness into creative and make use of the creative loneliness. Blaming loneliness repeatedly will never help you anywhere.
So I suggest you, instead of lamenting your present condition, be brave enough to quit the relationship. Don't worry. Take the decision and I will help you emotionally.
Take care.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Nagamani Ng
sir ,
thanks a lot for ur advice.
I wanted to make sure again with you whether he is using me..i will say you some of the situations sir.
he always say I don't like meetings..because there will be so rush in canteen.i dnt like rush.sometimes he say my ex- girlfriend made me long to see her..i was in the same condition like how you are now longing to see me.tthat bad past is coming in my head..so please don't ask me for meetings..then sometimes he says my friends will see us..they will tease when I go to hostel.and mostly he says if you continuously see me,you wont forget me when you get married to someone..i explained him I have no one here..if I talk with you in person I feel relaxed..i have migraine sir..so I cant sit before laptops and phones for long time.. so I asked him for meet..after lots of beggings he used to come..but rare..he never asked me for meet..only I used to ask.. I will ask many pleases..them he will agree..but while going home in train he will come with me..i asked him why your coming with me now alone,he used to say me that you are going alone.(i have the practice of going alone in the train sir he know that.) but before he used to talk soo swwet in chats..and I blindly trusted him sir..i cant even convince myself that he is using me..
thanks a lot for ur advice.
I wanted to make sure again with you whether he is using me..i will say you some of the situations sir.
he always say I don't like meetings..because there will be so rush in canteen.i dnt like rush.sometimes he say my ex- girlfriend made me long to see her..i was in the same condition like how you are now longing to see me.tthat bad past is coming in my head..so please don't ask me for meetings..then sometimes he says my friends will see us..they will tease when I go to hostel.and mostly he says if you continuously see me,you wont forget me when you get married to someone..i explained him I have no one here..if I talk with you in person I feel relaxed..i have migraine sir..so I cant sit before laptops and phones for long time.. so I asked him for meet..after lots of beggings he used to come..but rare..he never asked me for meet..only I used to ask.. I will ask many pleases..them he will agree..but while going home in train he will come with me..i asked him why your coming with me now alone,he used to say me that you are going alone.(i have the practice of going alone in the train sir he know that.) but before he used to talk soo swwet in chats..and I blindly trusted him sir..i cant even convince myself that he is using me..
Brief Answer:
Different facets of human depression
Detailed Answer:
Dear Kruthiga. I can understand. Thanks for the follow up.
There are many facets to your problem. First facet is that you are in deep love with your boy friend. To say more, you are possessive and obsessed with him. Therefore, even a small hint of negative behavior from his side makes you depressed and anxious. You start feeling that all hell broke down.
Second facet is, you are always feeling lonely behaving lonely. You do not have any friendships. This lack of friend ships is bad because you are unable to open your mind and speak to somebody who understands you (friends). Your emotions are always accumulated which explodes when triggered.
Third facet is your education and career. You are unable to perform better or even average in your exams or in the career side. This has created a vacuum in the passage towards future. You do not know what your future has in hold for you. This insecurity taunts and terrifies you.
The fourth facet is always your family relationships. I suspect your relationship with your parents is not sound or peaceful at least. You did not give me those details, still I assume and I hope it is correct.
All these facets (which I could identify. there could be more) together are troubling you. You are on your final year. After finishing your course, you should move away from the boy to a bright future. Prepare for that.
I suggest you speak to me over telephone. Take care.
Different facets of human depression
Detailed Answer:
Dear Kruthiga. I can understand. Thanks for the follow up.
There are many facets to your problem. First facet is that you are in deep love with your boy friend. To say more, you are possessive and obsessed with him. Therefore, even a small hint of negative behavior from his side makes you depressed and anxious. You start feeling that all hell broke down.
Second facet is, you are always feeling lonely behaving lonely. You do not have any friendships. This lack of friend ships is bad because you are unable to open your mind and speak to somebody who understands you (friends). Your emotions are always accumulated which explodes when triggered.
Third facet is your education and career. You are unable to perform better or even average in your exams or in the career side. This has created a vacuum in the passage towards future. You do not know what your future has in hold for you. This insecurity taunts and terrifies you.
The fourth facet is always your family relationships. I suspect your relationship with your parents is not sound or peaceful at least. You did not give me those details, still I assume and I hope it is correct.
All these facets (which I could identify. there could be more) together are troubling you. You are on your final year. After finishing your course, you should move away from the boy to a bright future. Prepare for that.
I suggest you speak to me over telephone. Take care.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Yogesh D
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