Question: dr seikhoo bishnoi please. i am having a hard time not going to israel. i have to use the money i saved to find a place to live with XXXXXXX whenever i have done that in the past i never am able to save anything because i dont have a job. i hate, no, make that detest,living here but realistically without a job cannot save enough to go to israel. with my bad leg i cannot do any standing jobs and this area has always been a hard place to find any jobs anyway. i want to go to israel so very badly almost as much as i used to want XXXXXXX ..can you give me any ideas for hope? XXXX said it would be cheaper if we found a place to live together,,,,i am just scared

I am trying but feel so anxious. I have never had enough money to save any of it. But people are giving me food now because I don't have the money to buy it. I will have to use at least half of the ticket money to get into a new place and of course looking is also very stressful. I have been really upset about it and of course finding someone to help me move is another problem. I didn't sleep very well because of it all. I am not thinking of XXXXXXX so much any more except when I drive by his store which I try not to do as much as possible.

i havent found a place yet to live with XXXXXXX i have been very anxious because i have had to take money i had saved to go to israel. i am praying i find a job. the landlords make it very hard with rtheir screening processes an i have had to spend more money than i wanted to. there is another place but it is more expensive. a lady from the clinic is trying to help me. it is complicated because i need XXXXXXX to help me but we are separated which makes it harder, i am also not doing well physically. i have a lot of edema and now weigh over 200 pounds and i should never weigh more than 140 pounds tops. i am scared and frustrated.


it is good though because i am not thinking of XXXXXXX much anymore. the sadness comes and goes a lot but i am moving away from it now. i am healing slowly but surely

Thank you dr b. my computer has glitches so i apologize for the punctuation errors...it is looking better to find a place to live..i do feel sad about never seeing XXXXXXX again...there will be no way to be in any kind of contact with him once this year is over...he no longer has a home phone and i don't know his cell phone...if we are still here in another year i might go up next year to see if he is still there or if he has sold his store. a year is a ways away but there are only nine more months to this year so time is flying by...how do i deal with the fact that i will never see him again? If i meet someone else i will only be able to love them second best because XXXXXXX was the love of my life.....i mourned for twenty years over my high school sweetheart ten years after my first marriage ended..i don't want to go through that again...how can i be open to meeting someone else if my heart is still with XXXX?


XXXXXXX is trying to pick fights with me again. he is highly agitated and there is a lot of tension between hisdad an him and his stepmom. she went ballistic and gor really mad because he ate a candy bar that he didnt know was hers...it is taking some time to find us a place to live together but he is taking his stress out on me. his aspergers is making it worse. i dont know what to do about it. he sleeps all day trying to avoid his dad but that is making things worse for him...then he takes it out on me. i can move in three weeks at the earliest depending on which place i get. i see one place friday and saw a place on saturday.

thanks dr b. i am so afraid that we will end up in a bad situation for living. my furniture was thrown out so i have nothing to sit on in the living room and the only thing we have left is our beds. i don't even have my dresser anymore...i can get used stuff but again that will cost more money. i am trying not to be afraid but i am..i hope that one of the places i looked at we can live in but they cost a lot of money....so much is weighing on my mind that i can't even sleep well. every day is a new stress. i paid out $70 the other day and have not heard from these people yet...i can't afford to keep doing that.

i was denied due to poor credit....it is fair to poor and i lost that place and the apartment as a result...i never ever defaulted on a rental. once i signed a lease agreement about five years ago and didn't stay because i was trying to get my house back but i have rented three places since that time so that should be taken into account..all those landlords were good ones and so i am just trying to get a place.
sam's dad is putting so much pressure on him to leave and charges him so much money he doesn't have enough money for food now. i have had to charge him 100 dollars a month to help with the car expense and his step mother treats him very poorly...i am worried about him his anxiety is increasing by leaps and bounds.i am afraid he will end up in the hospital again and that would be a bad thing especially now as i am looking for a place for both of us to live...i am so stressed out about looking for places but my credit isn't that great..i need prayers to find a good place for us to live and am looking for work too without success.