Question: Dr Seikhoo Bishnoi please. I found out Friday I am getting the money back for my airline tickets. But am not sure I can go to Israel because Sam's Dad may not pay me alimony if I move out of the country. If I knew for sure he will pay it I would go. We would be in a lot of trouble if that happened. XXXXXXX already will not be getting his other money so we could be living on a lot less money almost $800 a month as it is....I sit in my ap\artment and just worry all the time about what to do..it isn't much better here but at least I qualify for food here. XXXXXXX wouldn't be able to get a job and although I could maybe find work as I am a professional I am scared about what to do..the money will take some time to get here maybe six weeks and we have to somehow come up with a few more thousand dollars in order to live there.I have a lady who says she will be able to find us temporary or permanent rental place however.. I do not have a job lined up and am geting very depresse because i want to go there almost more than I want XXXXXXX Besides this would help me to forget him easier if I was there instead here where he is so nearby but inaccessible for me right now... XXXXXXX says he thinks we are supposed to go to Israel before XXXXXXX comes back.

I might not have a place to stay in Israel or here either when I try to come back.i am so depressed because i don't have enough money to do anything right now. I prefer staying in bed with the blankets over my head because anything else makes me feel so anxious...I cannot stop being anxious. First XXXXXXX wants to see XXXXXXX and then we have to decide if we are going to go to Israel and live there or not. I could find a place to live if i knew if the alimony would be coming back or not. It is hard to find a job here and I am not sure I will be able to work in Israel..so many worries I have now.i cannot seem to get out of the depression. living here there is nothing to do and i miss XXXXXXX living with me so much...I know I should be happy but I am not....trying to find a job here is next to impossible and in Israel it won't happen unless I am a citizen which is hard to do....the anxiety is really bad and XXXXXXX keeps on calling and threatening to call the police because I am not up and about...gee whiz who died and left her to be my mother. I am anxious going anywhere right now and except for XXXXXXX don't want to go anywhere or do anything. We did go to temple agaiun and things are okay there now...the guy I thought was a friend was really a bad guy and they were right in calling the police on him...I just wish I could think that things will work out for me.a friend said she thinks i am no longer stricken by romantis love for XXXXXXX does this mean i no longer am in love with him? I feel sad about it.

Okay. I will still try to find a place to live. I am thinking of looking for work maybe at the clinic where i get therapy. Then we should be able to save money for Israel. I am worried about what XXXXXXX will do if XXXXXXX goes up to his store to see him.. XXXXXXX calling the police of throwing him out of his store stuff like that..i am still depressed about not being with him. My therapist said leaving him alone at this time shows him selfless love and may be appreciated by him...he sees a lot of schizophrenic patients who are not on medicines and if they have support they can do okay. but XXXXXXX has not wanted to see me in over a year and a half..not sure if anything will change that.People I know are supporting XXXXXXX in his plan to go up to see XXXXXXX saying it was a long time ago already that he chased him and me away...I hope that they are right...i am still struggling with taking extra zanax and olanzapine and remeron..my nerves are so on edge..I take an extra one or two tablets of those drugs as well as gabapentin....not sure how to calm myself otherwise.