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Suffer with self made psychosomatic problems. How can I overcome them?

Dec 2015
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Answered by

Practicing since : 1993
Answered : 5637 Questions

I am suffering from some psychosomatic problems that (i think) i developed by my own. I have enlisted my problems below.

(problem summary - depression and stress, a possible XXXXXXX syndrome, hair loss, weak body, and excessive masturbation)

1. I have not been able to accept life as everyone around me does. The feeling, why should I be controlled by nature, just keeps me to myself and I just interact or work when its absolutely necessary or whenever I feel that my not speaking will attract an unusual attention towards me. I had the feeling that somehow the rules of nature donot apply to me. I have a casual feeling towards death now. I constantly feel depressed. Stressed when the life demands attention. And when I am in stress I tend to masturbate and that is sometimes 3-4 times a day. Hardly any day goes by without masturbation. Proper eating drinking and sleeping is not a part of my life anymore. As a result I have suffered three jaundice attacks, a typhoid attack and two severe tonsilites and falingitis cases in past 5 years. The strange thing about these diseases was that I was quite depressed just before they hit.

My patience levels are low and I like things that give immediate results. So I go restless when I donot get result and then tend to masturbate if I can.

2. My hair is receding. I knew it but never cared. I have lost 50-60% of my hair in past 5 years. They thin out and fall out.

3. The habit of masturbation has been with me since I was only a few years old. Children have the habits of sucking the thumb, I had the habit of grabbing my penis!

4. I feel a weak body all along.

5. Even after knowing things I tend not to provide myself healthy living habits like, proper eating, sleeping, no masturbation. I find no purpose.

I always feel that there is more to nature than what we see or feel. I spend most of the time thinking about how and why people said or reacted the way they did. Why did I do that? etc. Humans hardly know where they are living and dying. We are only a composition of atoms and nothing more than a non-living. I want to know the truth. Why are the things happening the way they are. What are the reasons? These questions are scientific but they keep driving me crazy and cause trouble in doing simple but necessary tasks as I am unable to concentrate or create a mood to do it. I donot want to live a life like others without knowing the real facts through which all the facts of life could be explained. I feel stupid about others that they live without any zeal to learn where and why they are living. I want to find the answers. And now I have developed a theory in my thesis work which I am going to publish, that proposes a theory that could explain why all the things are happening the way they are. I have to work hard and pay attention to reality to make this theory heard. But first I want to get a bit normal with life so that I can earn a living, do normal work that everybody does and respect others as they are or else this pursuit will just remain a dream and I will go mad. Now I am trying to stay as normal as I can and trying to take care of my health, but I need help.

Please advise me.
Posted Mon, 10 Jun 2013 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. K. V. Anand 6 hours later

We understand your concerns.

First let me answer to your somatic problems.

1. Receding hair line, as you said, it will be better if you don't care. But if it has any association with stress and anxiety level, then those needs expert treatment.

2. Habit of masturbation - From your query, it is not clear that whether you are married, your age etc. I assume that you are around middle age and married. Masturbation frequency increases with un satisfactory sex life of Obsession. A type of OCD (Syndrome induced Jaundice and again anxiety level.

Now let me go to your psychic idea.

1. I need to know a lot about your life style to correctly measure you. There are several psychometric tests which assess your personality type, anxiety level, whether you have any issues like OCD, depression, low self esteem, low self confidence etc, etc.

2. I wonder when you said that you formulated a theory about life, which, don't mind me saying, was not possible to wise men like XXXXXXX Viveknanda, XXXXXXX Maharishi, and so many other saints and sages and others. Only person in India who defined life some how was LORD XXXXXXX through Bhagavath XXXXXXX Sorry to say, even experienced psychologists, psychiatrists, honoured scientists did not even attempt to define life as a theory. Because, I feel it is too complicated. If you think you have the wisdom to do that, very good. Do it with confidence. If you did, then why this low self confidence. You did something nobody did.

3. Don't take me harsh. I can answer your queries as a psychologist. My answer would be simple. You are exploring those territories which are beyond science to define at least for now. So I can't be of help to you in those matters.

4. But let me be sincere, your anxiety level, stress level, OCD, Mild depression and some other mannerisms are to be assessed as early as possible. MENTAL HEALTH IS AS IMPORTANT AS PHYSICAL HEALTH. Let me know if you had found a clinical psychologist in your area. It is important to XXXXXXX one. You can ask me and I happy to help you.

God bless you.

Dr. KV Anand
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Suffer with self made psychosomatic problems. How can I overcome them? 13 hours later
Dear Doctor,

Here are some facts:

1. My age is 28
2. I am single
3. I am currently an M.Tech student
4. I am planning to go abroad for a phd this year or the next.
5. I have always remained among the top three students of the class since my school days.

My depression started when I missed IIT with a couple of marks. I ruined my B.Tech and was very unsatisfied with my performance and had literally given up hope. This is when my hair started receding, I got diagnosed with XXXXXXX syndrome and showed constant signs of illness. After graduation I have been continuously trying to heal myself mentally but was hardly successful until now. From the past 6 months, since I thought of the theory, I have become motivated and now gathered the strength to talk to a psychologist about the my problems.

I will try to list the problems succinctly and to the point

1. If I cannot explain something, my mind is stuck, frozen! I wonder how people accept what is happening around and move on.

2. I think so much that my head starts aching and I am not able to stop this.

3. I have no set career options right now and currently jobless due to this situation. I feel very small compared to the family heritage. Every one in my family is very well to do. Tigmanshu chacha is an ace director now, my bua is an actress, my cousins are very XXXXXXX and my real sister is an excellent lawyer. I am expected to do the same but somewhere I only want to do one thing, i.e. find the truth. My personal pursuit and the social obligations are so poles apart :(

Will you be able to help me to get normal? Please guide me, I am an excellent student. I want to steer out of the stress loop and find my vocation.
Answered by Dr. K. V. Anand 1 hour later

You are just 28 and your curiosity about life matters is very well justified. Dear I love to appreciate your efforts in your education and your career. You say you have not decided anything about your career, but it is evident from your qualification that you are in the right path. Your jeopardy about non-decision issue is well explained because you are not satisfied with what you are. Almost every issue you raise, points towards lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.

Please do not confuse between depression and distress. When you have some obstacles in your life, you normally get distressed, not depressed. Same thing happened with you in education front. We learn from experience and start exploring new standards keeping that experience in mind.

As regards to your masturbation habit, my previous reply stands. As you are not married, if in excess of once daily, it has to be OCD.

Here is the place, you are actually troubled. You are doing well in so many aspects of life, you have no physical problems, but you are always complaining. Not satisfied with what you are best at and always complaining about what you are not. This is the key of your problem.

Stop thinking in that way. No human being is perfect. Not even 50%. Everyone has his or her own drawbacks. And yet 95% of people live a normal life. Am I right? Why is it?

Because they are not interested in things which are beyond their control. They don't cry out of control about things they lost or when they are not a success. They try and try. Even if they fail, they just leave it. They don't cry over and over on the same point.

You think in your own way. But it is wrong as per my experience. Ages and ages of human and Indian cultural and spiritual experience say how to think about life. These lessons were passed onto generations to generations because they were truth. A lie or incorrect message cannot pass the test of time. Here you are. You are in between a lot of researched and tested thinking techniques your predecessors left for you to taste success in life, and you just ignore them and think in your way.

Good in some context. But not good for your life, People like XXXXXXX XXXXXXX Aurobindo Maharishi etc thought independently with a base of the spiritual knowledge they gathered from Indian spirituality. They never got depressed,but got distressed in so many ways for so many reasons. But never got into problems which you are facing now. Because they were selective thinkers, They knew what to think about and go how deeply into it.

For you, you are thinking too much,without knowing or accepting the fact that it is futile. Learn from your experience as well as from others experience. Life will be good.

Still you need consultation to psychologist /psychiatrist for the better course of life. You have to address OCD, anxiety, etc. For low self esteem and low self confidence,you amend your thinking style, and learn to appreciate self for every good work done and be satisfied with that.

Wish you speedy recovery and academic excellence
Dr KV Anand
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Suffer with self made psychosomatic problems. How can I overcome them? 1 hour later
Dear Doctor,

Your reply was enlightening. I feel that OCD and anxiety are my problem. I read about them and then your reply clicked me even more. I will try controlling them by knowing more about them, and their nature.

I want to know about psychotherapy sessions, where can I get them? Can I come to you sometime? How much does a psychotherapy session cost?

Please do also refer me to a good introductory book on psychology so that I can understand where I stand and help myself even more.

Thank You :)
Answered by Dr. K. V. Anand 5 hours later
Hi again,

I am very glad to note that you understood your worth.

Please be patient and just be what you are now. Everything will fall in place when time comes. Time is the master and we are just passerby. Believe in self in context with god / eternal power.

Psychotherapy can be done by trained psychotherapists. Most clinical psychologists are trained in that branch. Psychotherapy sessions are just like counseling sessions. They will not cost you a fortune. I am sorry to say that I will be available online only.

If you want to know more about Psychotherapy, read "The neuroscience of psychotherapy" by XXXXXXX Cozolino published by WW Norton and company, New York. But I suggest don't. You already know a lot about that subject and psychology.

Concentrate on subjects which are relevant to your profession and career. All other knowledge should be just knowledge, not practical sessions.

Wish you good future.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Suffer with self made psychosomatic problems. How can I overcome them? 4 hours later
Dear Doctor,

I am very thankful to you to edify me on my condition. Being more aware and knowing that this condition is quite common among people has lowered my anxiety and escalated my hopes of good health. With what I have come to know, I can cure myself to some degree or maybe completely. I want to give it a try.

Can you help me find a good clinical psychologist in the cities, Allahabad, Varanasi, and Lucknow? I want to take the tests that you have suggested this month or the next. And then how can I send you the reports?

Moreover before we quit this conversation I want to know how to ask specifically for you when I post a related problem sometime later? (it is my first time on XXXXXXX com!)

Thank you :)
Answered by Dr. K. V. Anand 8 hours later

I feel very happy that you started being self confident. That is the need of the day. You are doing well. But I will suggest not to take self initiative for this treatment. Let a clinical psychologist do it. Start with him, learn the methologies and then with his permission you can continue. Otherwise it will do bad than good.

Frankly I am unable to suggest any clinical psychologists in the given cities because I am not exposed to that area. But you can always approach any psychologist nearby abd query. Please beware of crooks. There are many. No hypnotism, mind you.

Test reports can be send to me through email. Please follow all suggestions given by your therapist. Not believing in your therapist's ability will adversely effect the sucess of the treatment.

You can always search for my profile in health care magic and then post your query. Or you can assistance from the customer care.

Please, I repeat, don't think about anything else. Your career, married family life are more importnt than more and more unnecessary knowledge. We may try to know everything, but not to learn everything.

Wish you high career advancements.
Dr. KV Anand
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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