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How To Deal With Abusive And Violent Behavior Of Spouse?
Question: im looking for advice on a 20year abusive marriage. wanted to know If you can help advise me
Brief Answer:
Please specify your query.
Detailed Answer:
Hi XXXXXXX
Please specify your concerns and I will do my best to guide you through the process.
Dr.Albana
Please specify your query.
Detailed Answer:
Hi XXXXXXX
Please specify your concerns and I will do my best to guide you through the process.
Dr.Albana
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
firstly my husband was brought up with a violent father. also many of his brothers have had same problems int hier marriages. my husband has ever punched me or told me where to go what to do and is very complimentary. but our 20 year marriage has been full of troubles . we have separated many times because of this. he has and can be verbally nasty swears and degrades me when in a fight and has pushed me around many times. He also gave my dad a black eye after my father approached him after a fight we had gotton into. my father hit him and he reacted by thumping my dad many times. its like he gets so infurated he looses it. I by all means am certaintly not easy person to live with but I lso relise that this is certaintly not normal way to live.
He has received help from gp and has been on medication for 3 years and they are now getting him off them citalopram I believe.
He has always been a very hardworking man and does give me everything, his wages are always given to me to deal with and he buys me anything I desire. but from time to time he gets in these moods and all hell breaks loose.
we have tried many things with outside help but time and time again we end up in a rut.
my question is do you think people can change with the right help ? as I do love him dearly and as our vows said for better for worse. or shall I just call it a day. as I fear my mental health will be effected.
Its strange as when I read about domestic violence its not the same situation,,,, he dosent control me , infact im not even afraid of him , don't get me wrong when his temper flares I normally flee the home. but hes a lost soul and if I can I will help him. but I also don't know where to turn , any advice would be gratly received
He has received help from gp and has been on medication for 3 years and they are now getting him off them citalopram I believe.
He has always been a very hardworking man and does give me everything, his wages are always given to me to deal with and he buys me anything I desire. but from time to time he gets in these moods and all hell breaks loose.
we have tried many things with outside help but time and time again we end up in a rut.
my question is do you think people can change with the right help ? as I do love him dearly and as our vows said for better for worse. or shall I just call it a day. as I fear my mental health will be effected.
Its strange as when I read about domestic violence its not the same situation,,,, he dosent control me , infact im not even afraid of him , don't get me wrong when his temper flares I normally flee the home. but hes a lost soul and if I can I will help him. but I also don't know where to turn , any advice would be gratly received
Brief Answer:
Following suggestions to solve your problems...
Detailed Answer:
Hi back my dear,
I have gone through your query carefully and I am sorry for the situation you are going through.
I have also noted your love and care for your beloved husband.
In your husband's case, if I was his caring doctor would follow the below steps:
1. Identify what the real problem is with him: neurological and psychological examination will be needed
2. Apart medications, professional psychological support is highly recommended. It might require a long time and lots of patience to achieve the success.
3. After this deep professional evaluation and support, he will continue with the same habits that would affect you psychologically and you as a person; then, it will depend on you to make up your mind if you want to continue staying with this violent person or not.
Although, I understand, it would be difficult as you are emotionally involved. Your security is the first, you deserve to live a peaceful life with your beloved people. But, if they put your life at risk, then, should think it over: IS IT WORTHY TO CONTINUE WITH HIM?
4. It is true that domestic violence does not required the same solution as it differs from case in case. A deep evaluation of each case is needed to understand the real problem and come out with right productive solutions.
Hope it answered to your queries! Do not hesitate to write me back if you have further questions!
Dr.Albana
Following suggestions to solve your problems...
Detailed Answer:
Hi back my dear,
I have gone through your query carefully and I am sorry for the situation you are going through.
I have also noted your love and care for your beloved husband.
In your husband's case, if I was his caring doctor would follow the below steps:
1. Identify what the real problem is with him: neurological and psychological examination will be needed
2. Apart medications, professional psychological support is highly recommended. It might require a long time and lots of patience to achieve the success.
3. After this deep professional evaluation and support, he will continue with the same habits that would affect you psychologically and you as a person; then, it will depend on you to make up your mind if you want to continue staying with this violent person or not.
Although, I understand, it would be difficult as you are emotionally involved. Your security is the first, you deserve to live a peaceful life with your beloved people. But, if they put your life at risk, then, should think it over: IS IT WORTHY TO CONTINUE WITH HIM?
4. It is true that domestic violence does not required the same solution as it differs from case in case. A deep evaluation of each case is needed to understand the real problem and come out with right productive solutions.
Hope it answered to your queries! Do not hesitate to write me back if you have further questions!
Dr.Albana
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
thank you for your advice , I apppretiate it ,
Brief Answer:
Most welcome, God bless you all
Detailed Answer:
Hi back my dear,
You are most welcome!
If no more questions, please do not forget to close this discussion.
All the best and God bless!
Dr.Albana
Most welcome, God bless you all
Detailed Answer:
Hi back my dear,
You are most welcome!
If no more questions, please do not forget to close this discussion.
All the best and God bless!
Dr.Albana
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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