HealthCareMagic is now Ask A Doctor - 24x7 | https://www.askadoctor24x7.com

question-icon

How Important Are Looks In A Relationship?

default
Posted on Mon, 27 Apr 2015
Question: me and my bf are very happy together..i had a very dark past..me ex hurt me like anything and i as in depression.my ex ws very handsome.bt current bf is the best guy i have ever seen.he is smart n intelligent.and he is gem of a person.his family is very nice the one i had thought my in laws would be.in short he is the best guy by nature.only problem is he is nt handsome.he looks average.front teeth are kinda big a bit.bit nerdy look.so compared to my ex he is not upto the mark in looks.but somewer i know he is the best guy from inside.what should i do?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Shubham Mehta (59 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
looks are not permanent; choose the one who keeps you happy.

Detailed Answer:
Hello
Welcome to HealthcareMagic.

I can understand your situation.

I feel the best way to judge a person is by his nature and not by his looks.

Every person has some emotional needs. He/she searches for a partner with whom he/she can share feelings, thoughts, emotions, dreams and everything.

You feel that your current bf is best in nature. He loves you, cares for you and respects your feeling. He looks are not that good as your ex's.

I think you are the best judge for yourself.
Just ask these questions from yourself:
Where did your relation with your ex-bf lead you?
How do you feel when you are with your current bf?
Haven't you fallen into severe depression if you would have continued with your ex-bf?
Despite of his not-so-good looks, dont you feel loved, secure and comfortable with your current bf?

The answers to these questions will lead you to the right path.

Looks are not permanent. We all would have a wrinkled face as we grow old.
The things what matters most is the nature. Loving and caring are indigenous to a good natured person.

I would suggest you to stay happy with your current bf and forget the ex. Keep aside the looks.

Hope this clears your doubts to some extent.

Feel free to discuss further if you have more issues.
Thanks.

Dr. Shubham Mehta, MD.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
default
Follow up: Dr. Shubham Mehta (18 hours later)
So sir i am just scared will i be able to do justice to the love n respect given by my bf now? i dont feel that attracted to him..but i dont even want to loose him as i know such gem of a person is rare..what do i do?? How should i make myself understand?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Shubham Mehta (3 hours later)
Brief Answer:
choose the person who cares for you.

Detailed Answer:
Hi again.

Dear,

Do not be scared about anything if you are true in your relationship.

Do you really want to carry on with this relationship? (sorry if it sounds little rude but this is the most important decision for you to stay happy in life).

He cares for you, loves and is a gem of a person.
The person you loved earlier betrayed you. Did you love him?

In my opinion, the person who loves you is more trustworthy then the person whom you love. Even if you do not feel that attracted towards him, stay with him. The love and comfort in your relationship will gradually increase as you will spend more time with him.

You have to choose between looks and love.
Consider two scenarios:
one is in which a guy who his smart and handsome. But he just uses you for physical pleasure and does not respect your feelings and is manipulative and uncaring. You can expect a betrayal from him anytime.

second is in which a guy who has average looks. But he is true in his heart, respects your feelings, loves you and cares for you. Such guy will be with you all good and bad times and will support you.

Which one will be you choice?

waiting for your reply.

Thanks.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
default
Follow up: Dr. Shubham Mehta (5 hours later)
the two scenarios which u said sir are exactly same with what has happened with me.earlier guy was manipulative uncaring did t respect my feelings and was very desperate regarding physical thing..the second scenario is same as current one. yes sir i think the one who loves me will keep me more happy then the one i love..and right now even if i do not that feelings for him staying with him will increase my feelings na? should i just go with the flow now?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Shubham Mehta (1 hour later)
Brief Answer:
go with the flow.

Detailed Answer:
Hi again.

I feel that his love and care will increase the similar feelings in you with time.
As he will keep you happy, you will also fall in love with him.

You should just go with the flow.
But stay truthful in your relationship.
Do not hide things from him and respect his feelings for you as well.

Hope my suggestions have helped you to choose the right path.

Kindly close the discussion if you have no more queries and give your valuable feedback.

Feel free to discuss further if you have more issues. I will be happy to help.

Take care.
Thanks.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
Answered by
Dr.
Dr. Shubham Mehta

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2008

Answered : 2145 Questions

premium_optimized

The User accepted the expert's answer

Share on

Get personalised answers from verified doctor in minutes across 80+ specialties

159 Doctors Online

By proceeding, I accept the Terms and Conditions

HCM Blog Instant Access to Doctors
HCM Blog Questions Answered
HCM Blog Satisfaction
How Important Are Looks In A Relationship?

Brief Answer: looks are not permanent; choose the one who keeps you happy. Detailed Answer: Hello Welcome to HealthcareMagic. I can understand your situation. I feel the best way to judge a person is by his nature and not by his looks. Every person has some emotional needs. He/she searches for a partner with whom he/she can share feelings, thoughts, emotions, dreams and everything. You feel that your current bf is best in nature. He loves you, cares for you and respects your feeling. He looks are not that good as your ex's. I think you are the best judge for yourself. Just ask these questions from yourself: Where did your relation with your ex-bf lead you? How do you feel when you are with your current bf? Haven't you fallen into severe depression if you would have continued with your ex-bf? Despite of his not-so-good looks, dont you feel loved, secure and comfortable with your current bf? The answers to these questions will lead you to the right path. Looks are not permanent. We all would have a wrinkled face as we grow old. The things what matters most is the nature. Loving and caring are indigenous to a good natured person. I would suggest you to stay happy with your current bf and forget the ex. Keep aside the looks. Hope this clears your doubts to some extent. Feel free to discuss further if you have more issues. Thanks. Dr. Shubham Mehta, MD.